I'm posting on hear after reading the thread about limerence. 6 years ago my husband had a nervous breakdown, walked away from his job overnight, zero income overnight .We had two v.small children at the time ..I had to be the main breadwinner (I still.am) in a job I find stressful and demanding . I felt angry with him , guilty about my children , disappointed Blah blah blah .but I just got on with it .
Up pops first love on to Facebook and Spotify ( I know predictable) he was going through a divorce at the time, I'm kind and sympathetic by nature. I kept telling him i was married he was relentless and I was sucked in ( i'm easily flattered very critical mother low self esteem blah blah I was in a violent sexually abusive relationship before I met my husband )
The contact was addictive I felt euphoric exhilarated funny and sxy it was extreme escapism from the daily drudge, within a year I was hooked ..couldn't get through the day without a message from him..culminating in me calling him up to tell him I had a crush on him , arranging counselling and getting signed off from work with 'anemia' . 3 years on I think I'm over him ( thank god ) ..I like my husband again ( thankgod) the counselling helped me a lot with the work stress ..but not the emotional affair strangely enough. I am deeply ashamed and guilty and have cold sweats when I think about what I could have lost. Slaughter me in your responses all you want to but I would appreciate some advice on this I am now the subject of a lot of gossip at work ( I did a stupid thing I. Know) I'm aloof at work don't have friends , the colleagues I manage in my department have always respected me until now. I manage a very successful team. I've overheard them.saying I'm going to be given.a hard time when we have a works night out .Do I tell them ? Keep an aloof pretence so no one can get close . I'm deeply ashamed about my behaviour.
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Relationships
My behaviour has been unforgiveable
spudlike1 · 04/07/2015 09:49
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