I'm not sure how much longer I can stay in my marriage. I just feel so unhappy, unloved, unappreciated blah blah.
My husband and I have become like bickering siblings, we actively dislike each other. Nothing the other does or says is ever right. I've lived like this for years and I don't want to go another 15 years and regret having wasted all that time not being happy.
The trouble is we have a reasonably large family by today's standards and I have no where to go. If I left, I'd have to leave my children behind with no realistic prospect of ever getting them back. The youngest would come with me as she has cerebral palsy, but the only place I could go would be my father's house who is a heavy smoker. My daughter has chronic lung disease due to her prematurity and was on home oxygen til she was a year old do you can understand why this environment wouldn't be good for her.
I also have no income, no bank account etc. I'd have no vehicle to to get to hospital and therapy appointments. I feel trapped here.
I raise it with my husband and sometimes things improve for a few days but ultimately we just aren't happy together.
Already this morning he's got out of bed in a strop because I swore, and he doesn't like it. He's blamed me for talking to him when I asked him to please not talk to me with food sloshing around his mouth, and we've argued AGAIN over the children being allowed iPads/iPhones/screens at the table before they've eaten, washed and dressed. Every day is the fucking same and he just pleads ignorance and acts dumb. 'Oh, I thought that rule was just on school days' NO!
How can I get out of this?
We have zero communication. We do nothing together. This morning he has taken our eldest to a cheerleading thing 30 minutes away. I thought it'd be nice to drop her off then go on to a large park local to there with our younger ones. He just moans about how stressful it is getting everyone dressed and in the car and says that actually he had planned to drop our DD off and go and get some tea bags. Fucking tea bags!!
We do everything apart. He has no desire ever to do anything alone with me. Whatever I suggest he doesn't fancy. If I suggest going to the cinema by myself, that's wrong too.
I'm 36 and sat here crying over this mess. Years and years this has been going on and I hate it.
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How do you leave, when you've nowhere to go?
10 replies
Freezoo · 04/07/2015 08:49
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