Ok, here goes, I am 39 yrs old, married 12 yrs, with 2 DC. For the last 2+ years our marriage has been struggling mainly due to my husband what I see it as a drug addiction (soft drugs but drugs all the same), it is an everyday habit. He also drink 2 - 3 cans every night.
We spoke previously about this he was going to change but same old story it hasn't happened and probably never will. I think I have probably switched off now but feel desperately sad what it has come to.
We still have a sex life but don't share a bedroom anymore.
I started a new jobs 6 months ago and it has opened my eyes as to what life really could be like instead of what we are like now.
Heres the horrible bit on my part, I have gotten friendly with a male colleague never any more that talking, general chit chat, nothing about relationships etc or sexual. But i feel incredibly guilty that im able to have a laugh with another male but not H anymore and that also has opened my eyes to how wrong things are in my marriage.
But i am so terrified of being without him at the same time, in a strange way he is like my crutch but im stepping away and realise i am capable of going alone, this makes me feel extremely sad for my family but i know he lies to me about how much he spends on drugs and uses.
I just don't know what to do anymore.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Help me understand if i am the demon cow!!
socksandsandels · 30/06/2015 12:25
This reply has been deleted
Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.