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I don't want the bastard to get his hands my my inheritance!

(73 Posts)
ALaughAMinute Tue 23-Jun-15 20:16:22

My elderly mother (90) has dementia and and is likely to die soon.

I want to divorce my husband and don't want him to stake a claim on my inheritance.

I made an appointment to see a solicitor on Friday. I had a quick chat with her on the phone and she told me that the only way I can secure my inheritance is to get a court order. Does anyone know how long it takes to get a court order?

I was in such a flap, I forgot to ask! confused

FuckitFay Tue 23-Jun-15 20:23:25

I think what she means is that you need to finalise finances on divorce by way of a court order before your inheritance is safe. If you agree the financial settlement, you need to issue a divorce petition and get to decree nisi stage before the court can approve an order. And you here to be in full agreement. Even in the most cooperative divorce I can't see you getting there before 3 months because the court takes time to deal with paperwork.
If you can't agree and need to issue court proceedings to deal with the financial part of the divorce, it can take a year to get to final hearing. However very few people go to final hearing because of the expense, and most settle at some stage before then. I would suggest issuing a divorce ASAP as he has less of a claim if your mums dies after the petition has been issued - if you are not separated then the inheritance has come during the marriage.

I'm sorry to hear about your mum and the divorce.

ALaughAMinute Tue 23-Jun-15 20:29:59

Thanks Fuckit, I tried to Google it but couldn't find what I was looking for.

Three months to a year seems like a very long time. I'm not expecting her to die tomorrow but you never know at that age. The only reason I delayed it for so long is because I was waiting for my youngest DC to finish his A levels. Yikes!

FuckitFay Tue 23-Jun-15 20:48:09

It's the process of reaching agreement that takes time. And most people need to exchange full financial disclosure before negotiating. Plus the divorce process itself is several months and it has to be done as part of the divorce process to be watertight. Is your DH likely to delay the process knowing you may have an inheritance coming?

This flowchart explains the various processes available in how to sort out finances on divorce
www.resolution.org.uk/site_content_files/files/options_flowchart.pdf

And lots of helpful info about the process
www.resolution.org.uk/advice%5Fcentre/

27inmyhead Tue 23-Jun-15 20:51:42

The best piece of advice re divorce that no one gave me is to divorce as soon as possible. My exh tried to claim half of my earnings in the years after separation (he left btw.) It all goes into the pot to be divvied up. So if you are due a windfall or in your case an inheritance I would get rid of him as quickly as possible.

goddessofsmallthings Tue 23-Jun-15 20:54:20

Are you seperated and, if so, for how long?

If not, is your spouse aware that you wish to divorce him?

babybarrister Tue 23-Jun-15 21:04:03

Is it possible for your mother to change her will? If she has a Power of Attorney or Deputy then I think they can change her will.
In relation to th divorce I am sorry to tell you but any court will also take into account inheritance prospects in these circumstances where your mum is very old. The good news is that courts are not keen on splitting inheritances provided there are sufficient other assets to meet needs . I have been in cases when one party has just taken the inheritance and has not had a share of the marital assets as a result ....

iloverunning36 Tue 23-Jun-15 21:10:01

Are you in Scotland or England?

ALaughAMinute Tue 23-Jun-15 21:10:32

Fuckit, very informative links - thank you.

I don't think my H is likely to delay the process but he might do if he knows there is an inheritance coming. Oh god, I'm scared!

27, divorce as soon as possible is very good advice - I should have done it years ago! I didn't want to rock the boat while my son was taking his A levels. I really hope I don't regret that decision.

Goddess, no we're not separated, although I am thinking of moving out and going to rent a room somewhere. He knows I want to divorce him but he doesn't know I'm seeing a solicitor on Friday. If he finds out I'm going to see a solicitor he will make my life hell!

PoppyBlossom Tue 23-Jun-15 21:13:25

Does he believe your mother has no inheritance? Because that's the only reason I can see that he will envisage no inheritance likely. Is her health very poor? Could it be an option to be held in trust for your son?

ALaughAMinute Tue 23-Jun-15 21:15:18

Baby, yes my mother has a POA - maybe I should talk to my solicitor to see if the POA can change the will? Oh god, I'm so confused, I can't think straight. I told him I want a divorce earlier on today and he banging around in the kitchen and slamming doors!

Ilover, I'm in England.

Thank you all for your replies.

Lovingfreedom Tue 23-Jun-15 21:17:07

I was told that if I had put inheritance (from about 3 years before marriage ended) into a separate account then it would not be counted as matrimonial asset. As it was I had mainly put it towards cars, mortgage etc so had become part of joint matrimonial assets. Even so some consideration of the personal inheritance was made in my separation agreement. I'm in scotland though I don't know if that makes a difference. See a solicitor.

ALaughAMinute Tue 23-Jun-15 21:20:39

Poppy, he knows how much my mother is worth and roughly how much I stand to inherit.

A trust fund might be a good idea but I could probably do with the inheritance myself if I am getting divorced.

My mothers health is quite poor. She's had dementia for approx 4 years and recently had an operation on her hip to repair a fracture after a fall. She's not at deaths door but she's very old.

littleblackno Tue 23-Jun-15 21:23:55

I'm not sure about the rest of the thread but I'm 99% sure that a POA cannot change anyones will, particularly if it is in their favour.
Hope things work out for you.

FuckitFay Tue 23-Jun-15 21:24:59

If there is enough to go round to meet both of your needs without the inheritance then you might be ok, but doesn't sound like it. It's not a question necessarily of him being entitled to a share of it but that it is reasonable for you to use it to meet your housing needs instead of it coming out of the equity in your house. But how relevant it will be will depend on your overall financial circumstances which the solicitor will go through with you. If eg there was enough in the marital pot for you both to rehouse comfortably mortgage free then it would be less relevant

FuckitFay Tue 23-Jun-15 21:26:11

Not quite my area of law but fairly sure you can't change a will with a POA of she no longer has capacity to make a will. Think you would have to apply to the court for a statutory will.

ALaughAMinute Tue 23-Jun-15 21:27:19

Thanks Little, I will find out on Friday, I am just being impatient.

I originally went to see the solicitor a year ago but the bastard persuaded me not to get divorced so I didn't proceed. Will that count do you think?

ALaughAMinute Tue 23-Jun-15 21:33:19

Fuckit, thank you - you sound very knowledgeable!

There's enough money for us to both rehouse and he earns loads more than me so with any luck he won't be able to get his hands on my inheritance. He's reckless with money anyway. My mother would turn in her grave if she though he was getting her money!

springalong Tue 23-Jun-15 22:44:20

my ex husband acquired rights to employment assets 8 months before we separated and 2 years before divorce finalised His legal team tried to claim that they were not matrimonial assets acquired during the marriage. I ended up on advice from my barrister having to settle at less than 50%. They were ring fenced as were impossible to value. But from my (fucking bitter) experience be able to claim that an inheritance was not a matrimonial asset. This clearly would depend when your mother dies. Sorry to be blunt.

ALaughAMinute Tue 23-Jun-15 23:00:36

Thanks Spring, I've a feeling this might not be easy, although I don't think he will go after my employment assets as I only work four days a week and don't earn much.

I know this is a pathetic thing to say but I wish someone would save me from all of this. I'm so stressed out it's not true!

Where is my knight in shining armour? I'm a feminist so I can't possibly think that can I? confused Oh God, I need help!

MrsLeighHalfpenny Tue 23-Jun-15 23:04:01

Get your mum to leave inheritance to DCs instead of you. Would be quicker to change her will probably b

goddessofsmallthings Wed 24-Jun-15 01:24:37

If your dm has senile dementia she no longer has the mental capacity to make any alteration to her Will and whoever holds Power of Attorney cannot do it for her.

Before giving consideration to an qpplication for a statutory will, are you the only child or do you have siblings? -

You're best advised to petition for divorce on the grounds of your spouse's unreasonable behaviour asap. The Nisi should be granted within 3 months or less providing your h doesn't delay returning the acknowledgement of service form which will be sent to him with a copy of your Petition - be prepared for more fur to fly at that time.

Once the financials are settled you'll be able to apply for the Absolute - after which, any sums you come into through lottery wins, inheritances etc will be yours -- all yours -- free and clear.

If your dm is in a care home I would have thought that the establishment's fees would make a considerable dent in whatever monies she planned to leave to her beneficiaries after payment of funeral expenses, death duty/outstanding debts (where applicable).

Fwiw your consultation with a solicitor a year ago is of no value whatsoever except as a date around which time you agreed to give the marriage another go after your h promised to make certain changes which he's failed to do, hence your intention to proceed with divorce now - as in yesterday! grin.

Northernparent68 Wed 24-Jun-15 07:10:25

I think your inheritance will be taken into account when dividing the assets but I can't see your husband getting any of it, ie your share of the house may be reduced to take account of the mobey you ll get from your mum

Senada Wed 24-Jun-15 08:48:25

My experience was pretty much as Northern describes it.

BitOutOfPractice Wed 24-Jun-15 13:53:31

Oh laugh I feel a bit sweaty palmed reading how anxious you sound.

Get the ball rolling asap and good luck thanks

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