Well I don't really know what thread title to use and have a feeling I might get some fairly negative feedback but would appreciate some honest thoughts please .
I was married for approx 25 years .... Unhappy for most but couldn't see a way out .
We separated 18 months ago.
Huge relief for me .
He now has a gf and we remain friends ( 4 dc we will be connected forever )
Earlier this year I met a lovely man .
It was instant mutual attraction .... Not sexual although that came .
We only spoke for 5 mins when we met in a bar with friends but a few days later had exchanged numbers via mutual friend and began texting .
He was in a relationship for 25 years and separated 2 after his ex wife had an affair .
He was honest with me straight away and always has been ... He works abroad a lot of the time. The family home was up for sale and he planned on moving abroad to live ( he works a lot in the UAE ) towards the end of the year.
We both knew the relationship could go nowhere and joked about it being a doomed rebound, but we were somehow making each other smile a lot .
Anyway we had still only met once for less than 5 mins .
Somehow we managed to keep in touch while he was away for 4 weeks every day .
I began to realise this guy was a real gentleman and we both started to make each other smile with our daily morning and evening texts .... Planning to meet for coffee when he returned .
The day he flew into the UK he asked to call me before he flew out to another country for a planned boys yearly meet up .
I thought he was going to tell me it all had to stop because he really is honest so I was really nervous but shocked when he said he wanted to meet for coffee and get to know me better.
That weekend he texted me loads .
We met for coffee both very very nervous , but omg there was no need .
We just talked and laughed for 3 hours and neither of us expected it to happen like it did.
Our next meet up was for breakfast a few days later , which turned into lunch and then dinner , we talked and laughed for 11 hours .
Then followed a few weeks of absolute bliss .... Neither of us mentioning the fact that he is moving abroad at the end of the year .
We went on picnics , watched the sunrise , sunset and have had so many dinners out and been dancing .
When we first kissed this sounds crazy but hoestly at 44 and 50 we were both like a pair of love struck teens because it felt like fireworks .
We've had a weekend away now and we drank champagne and he made love to me .
He seems just as happy holding me and kissing me .
He holds my hand and kisses my forehead and hugs me like he never wants to let go.
I never ever ask him about the end of the year and he's working abroad again from beg July for around 2 months this time .
He has an 18 year old son here who doesn't see his mum anymore and lives presently with his dad .
His family lives in the UK and he's putting his prized possessions into storage or with trusted friends.
Sometimes he'll say things like " when you meet xxxx, and you will one day " I think does that mean he sees a future for us ?
He says he told his mum about me because she said he looked differrent .
He's told his son and close friends and they all say it's so nice to see him smiling again.
I daren't ask him because I realise we are both vulnerable after coming out of such long term relationships.
Also I seem to remember him saying something about only going for 2 years . He's very focused on ambition and when he works abroad has big earning potential . I have a feeling he might be just going for two years and then planning on returning I don't know .
He's invited me out there and wants me to meet his dear friend and work collegue .
He will obviously fly back to see his family fairly regularly but I wonder if he will also see me ?
I would never ask him to stay as it would need to come from him and neither of us has mentioned love.
I think I'm falling for him .
I love who he is.
I love the whole lot.... He works hard , plays hard , has morals and integrity and I trust him entirely .
He is also very rich . When I realsised this it rocked my confidence . he's not a tiny bit rich he's hugely rich . I try not to think about it but it does bother me a little . The thing I like about that tho is that he wasn't always so ....he has worked his butt off to get where he is now .
Anyway I don't know what I want to know from mumsneters , maybe just writing my story down .
I think I might love this guy .
It might sound like I'm being very naive maybe I am , but he says things like he just wants to wake up next to me and never let me go .... He did and he was genuinly so happy . I brought him coffee like I'd said I would for weeks and we just held each other for hours .
You know when you can just be with someone , say nothing and it's ok because you know the other one is content just being next to you too ?
Sorry this is so long .... If anyone reads it thank you , but am I heading for huge heartache or should I just think how lucky we both are that we've had this time ? X
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Am I setting myself up for heartache ?
21 replies
Throughthestorm · 21/06/2015 10:41
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