Relationship couselling - how did you find it? OKish?

[DuvetToMyself]

DH and I had our first couple counselling session last week. In the initial triage appointment we'd both said we wanted to make our marriage work and make it stronger. Then we had the actual session. Now, well, fuck knows. Fixing us seems insurmountable.

Please tell me your experience of counselling. Did it make you stronger? Is this normal for a first session?

[DuvetToMyself]

I'd be really grateful for the advice.

[fiorentina]

We have just started as well. The first session I felt we were honest but there is so much to cover and I feel we are opening a can of worms.. All I can do it hope it helps. I hope the same for you. Sorry not to have helped.

[Mumfun]

Found a lot of pain in it as it opens up stuff from your past. BUt it is good to deal with these things. We were unlucky and got a Relate counsellor that I know now wasnt very good. There are a lot better Relate counsellors out there. Good luck!

[DuvetToMyself]

I don't know how it happened but it is like after one session we seem to be so far apart. Further than I ever realised we were. It's really given me a shock. We just aren't on the same page in terms of goals or aspiration or anything. The counsellor said about five minutes in: 'Well, of course, you are very different types of people'. God, are we? It was a surprise.

Can of worms is how it feels. I do like our counsellor though. She seems sensible.

[Joy69]

Initially I found councilling very helpful. Abit painful at times, but if we had both wanted the marriage to work it would have good for us. Unfortunately as I discovered my ex not only lied in councilling, but was also seeing his mistress.
We saw a private councillor, not a relate one.

[junebirthdaygirl]

I have a friend who went through this and l remember she told me they were encouraged not to talk about the session outside it as you are very vulnerable and need that third party. So they put all the stuff that was opened up away until next time. Things will get worse before they get better as it's like opening up a big sore and letting all the rottenness out. The good thing is yerevan there. Bear with it.