Feeling despairing this morning.
I've written about this before here- was emotionally and sexually abused by a teacher of mine from early teens to early twenties. Fucking awful situation. Hate him but ten years down the road now. He was sacked from his school, his wife took him back... The usual bollocks. I'm now married to someone I adore, great career, beautiful DD.
Rarely think about him in any real way.
Was jus driving home yesterday night and saw him crossing the road. Instantly felt sick and scared and threatened. Had to stop car and gather myself.
Now since last night I feel edgy, can't stop thinking about him, feeling awful about everything that happened, feeling sick.
I know it will pass and in a couple of days I won't feel like this but just feel in despair- will it ever stop? It's only really in the past few years I've felt comfortable calling myself a victim of him- before that I just kind of saw it as a bad relationship. So is this some kind of PTSD? Will I still be feeling like this if I see him when I'm 60 odd?
Just needed to vent this somewhere as didn't even tell DH I had seen him and don't want to discuss in real life really.
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Do you ever stop feeling like a victim?
10 replies
StaircaseAtTheUniversity · 19/06/2015 07:42
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