I have name changed, people "know" me on here.
My eldest sister lives abroad, she is visiting for a few weeks. She is extremely toxic and has done quite a number of things that are at best irrational and at worst vicious.
She is not good in drink, she becomes extremely hostile. At the weekend, we were away (five of us) staying in a hotel. We all had a fair amount to drink, but I was being careful, I know what she can be like.
Anyhow, she came to my room (everyone was in my room), and all was fine for a while, she then launched into a tirade of abuse, spanning years. I remained calm, asking her to leave, but she wouldn't. Eventually, she could not get me to argue, so she hit me.
Everyone went mad, pinned her down etc, I again asked her to leave, but she refused. Given this, I called a cab (we were in London but we don't live that far) and went home.
She brought up petty arguments from 10 plus years ago, she brought up arguments that had nothing to do with her even. She was shocking, everyone was telling her to be quiet etc.
Anyhow, the next morning she called and left a voicemail crying and apologising. I was massively exhausted and at a low ebb yesterday, so I did go and see her as she had asked. Her apology was "I am sorry I hit you yesterday", not "I'm sorry". I know this is her way of saying I wasn't wrong to come barging into your room and deciding that I am going to character assassinate you, in front of others and when I am drunk. I think it was all totally wrong.
I want to end our relationship, I am getting nothing from it but something in my head is still saying "she is your sister".
Do I have a conversation with her and ask why she is not sorry for the other stuff, not just the slap round the face? Or do I just quietly (as possible) withdraw from contact? I would like an explanation.
She has form for huge arguments when drunk, but not the hitting. She seems to hold a huge amount of hatred, which in some ways I feel sorry for her having that feeling.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Sister issues.....again
Letsgoroundagain1 · 15/06/2015 13:11
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