Pnd or relationship issue??

[Feelingsad111]

I've posted this in antenatel but might be better here

My dd is nearly 18 months old and just lately I've been feeling a little strange. Everything is fine with her and my work ( I only do part time) but when it comes to my relationship it's a different story.
He can do no right, I'm alway irritable with him, I cry alot, feel generally sad and even convinced myself he's having an affair. I just feel this anger burning up inside me when it comes to him and I can't stop it. It's awful, if he doesn't answer his phone I think it's because he's with another woman, crazy I know!! We have been together for a long time and never had any issues but I just feel this black cloud over us and I don't know how much more we can both take. I think he hates coming home sometimes.
He works really long hours so I do most of all the chores and then I resent him on his day off if he's just relaxing and then I kick off, cry etc. I just feel so insecure and check every little thing for evidence he's cheating or lying! I don't recognise myself , I'm usually really happy but keep wondering now am I Depressed?? I have had anxiety before but this is different, looking back this all started when dd was about 8 months old

[Sweetsecret]

Hi, so sorry you are feeling like this. It could be PND, but you could just be feeling overwhelmed with having a toddler, we all know how hard that can be.
Has he given you a reason to believe he is cheating or do you feel you are just being paranoid.
Either way, you sound like you need to talk to him calmly and explain how you have been feeling. I felt similar to you after my youngest was born (I had PND) I didn't discuss it with my DH and it just festered two years later he has just left me and I am devastated.
Nip this in the bud while you can, talk to him (try not to argue) tell him how you feel, tell him you suspect PND and then speak to your doctor.
We often feel agitated and hurt the people closest to you, but you can't carry on feeling like this.

[Imi22sleeping]

I could have written your post nothing to add just hope you feel better soon x

[Feelingsad111]

I did have reasons to think he was cheating last year with a work colleague, at times I thought I was just being paranoid but he was acting strange, hiding his phone etc. He swore nothing was going on abd then they changed offices and I was lead to believe at Xmas they hadn't spoken for months. The hiding phone seemed to stop , I still felt a bit low in myself but was ok. I then found out a few months ago this was a lie, they talk quite regular just about work ( he's recently been promoted and she helps him with work advice) but I feel I can't move on, the man I loved lied to me! He said I was such a nightmare when it came to her it was easier to say they didn't speak.
I just don't know if I'm depressed and it's me but sometimes I just nag him all the time about everything, I don't want to end up pushing him away but I feel betrayed. I don't think he cheated but I do feel they have some sort of emotional connection.
But his behaviour I think has made me unhappy, some days I just get this knot in my stomach and it won't go away

[Feelingsad111]

I've tried talking to him about how I feel and he swears nothing has ever gone on. I don't want to admit to him that I suspect pnd just in case my feelings are justified. I've told him I'm unhappy and struggling to trust him and he says he is unhappy too, I've lost my spark.
I guess I miss the relationship we had before baby came along , we've been together a really long time

[Joysmum]

Personally I think you've got every right to feel like you can't trust him, but that's not the issue.

The issue is whether this mistrust has tipped over into affecting the chemistry of your brain causing you to be depressed so you can't lift out of this rather than just understandably untrusting.

I think the best bet would be to have a chat with your doctor as they are best placed to decide.

[twistletonsmythe]

I would say you have good reason to not trust him. Don't confuse your insecurity with pnd.

[Feelingsad111]

But what do I say to the doctor?? Tell them everything about my relationship or just say I'm unhappy at the moment ?? I know the root of my unhappiness is him but do I need to get myself better before I decide what to do??

[Feelingsad111]

I've decided at the moment to just take a step back and if I feel myself ready to explode on him I'll just leave the room until I calm down. I don't want to resorts to AD if I can help it but we will see his things go