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Bi husband

(14 Posts)
Hughexperience1 Mon 08-Jun-15 16:30:24

Hi,
This has probably been done before, so apologies but I wonder how many wives here know that their husband is bi? I know that there are many married men that see other men and many say that their wives do not know (can I please stress here that I am not implying that it is 'your' husband or that you should worry unduly).
For the record, I am bi and my wife knows.
Best wishes,
Hugh

Izzy24 Mon 08-Jun-15 16:36:03

Do you mean 'how many women know their husbands are cheating on them with other men?'

GymBum Mon 08-Jun-15 16:47:20

Nope DH is straight as far as I am aware and all the men we know in heterosexual marriages/relationships are straight as far as we know.

I don't think I know anyone that's bi but we have a few gay couple friends.

I don't care if someone is straight, gay or bi if they are seeing other people then I would judge them as sleazy and would strongly recommend their partner LTB.

Not sure what the point of the thread is to be honest Op.

goddessofsmallthings Mon 08-Jun-15 17:03:29

Is your wife bi, or does she only shag other men when you're out on the tiles with yours, OP?

RubbishMantra Mon 08-Jun-15 17:07:26

I'd be equally pissed off if DH was shagging anyone behind my back. Male or female.

If one knows they want to shag others of either sex after getting married, then why on earth enter into a monogamous relationship?

Dosydoly Mon 08-Jun-15 17:08:02

Lovely non judgemental responses as per hmm

Op are you in a monogamous relationship?

longlistofexlovers Mon 08-Jun-15 17:11:39

Cheating and being bisexual are very different things.

I had a boyfriend for 3 years who was bi. He never cheated on me.

MMcanny Mon 08-Jun-15 17:13:44

Being bi is not a free for all. There are plenty bi women too who are married to men, but it is not an excuse to cheat on your partner, monogamy is monogamy whichever gender or genders you fancy.

But this does remind me of a cautionary tale about a bi man who was married to a woman and had a bit of boy action on the side, the boy wanted to end it due to the married/deceit part of the equasion, he got his best friend to go meet the couple to tell the wife what was going on as both gay blokes were outraged and the bi guy would not take no for an answer. Gay bloke two ended up shagging the husband in the toilets while the wife waited at the bar! He never did tell her and I do wonder to this day if the husband and wife are still together, if they have kids by now. People can be real creeps.

Skiptonlass Mon 08-Jun-15 17:15:05

Would it matter?

You're implying that being bi automatically means the spouse is going to be cheating with a member of the same sex, it seems to me...or that you're an irrestible Adonis who even makes straight chaps turn, which somehow I doubt.

Personally, I think a sizeable minority of people are not entirely gay or straight - it's the person they fall in love with.

If someone I was with was monogamous, it's irrelevant what their past crushes have been. Similarly, if your other half is shagging around, you need to be shot if them, regardless of who they are cheating with.

theredjellybean Mon 08-Jun-15 17:30:36

my exdh was ...though looking back think he is probably gay and married me as a desperate attempt to ignore it...he became asexual once he reached 35 and has since told me he didnt really find men or women attractive . I have often wondered if it was years of trying to be something he wasnt that made him feel this way .

AcrossthePond55 Mon 08-Jun-15 17:35:19

Cheating is cheating. It doesn't matter why and saying that my spouse doesn't have the 'right equipment' to scratch a particular 'itch' doesn't make it acceptable to seek out someone who does on the sly.

Unless the spouse doesn't care, it's wrong.

Hughexperience1 Mon 08-Jun-15 17:40:47

It is so funny the rage that people put in these forums.
A big thank you and genuine appreciation to those who were non-judgemental.
I have never cheated on my wife and never intend to.

GymBum Mon 08-Jun-15 17:47:39

I wasn't been judgemental against you Op. My cheating note was really in response to you comment regarding bi men that cheat on their unsuspecting wives.

However I am interested in what you want to gauge from this thread. Geniuenly I am a little at a loss. long day on holiday with a baby that's had gastro and jet lagged so having very little sleep

Pandora37 Mon 08-Jun-15 17:58:00

My ex boyfriend was bi, it never bothered me as I'm bi myself. Neither of us cheated on the other (at least he didn't to my knowledge and I definitely didn't). We did talk about involving other people but we'd only have done it with the other person present. I don't know if we'd really have done it or we just liked the idea of it. I'm pretty certain my ex would never have cheated on me with a man, he didn't have any sexual experience with men and was very hesitant about it. He would have only done it with me present due to stuff in his past that would have made him feel vulnerable if he was alone.

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