I need to try and sort my muddled head out! I posted last week about how my relationship is basically over and I'm waiting to be able to afford to move out. My head's just in such a pickle and I don't know whether I'm going about anything the right way.
In a nutshell, we've been together about 5 years, in the last 4, we've had sex about 4 times, all initiated by me and usually when he's got to the stage where he feels like he has to to keep me happy. As you can imagine I didn't really enjoy it knowing that! I've changed a lot, we're now very different people, he's also a bloody lazy bastard and does no housework even though I work PT.
So anyway, I was planning on saving money and moving out when I'd saved enough, which will take a long time unfortunately. I feel guilty as fuck though cos I haven't actually mentioned anything to DP, which I'm starting to think I should do? We've grown apart so much that we barely talk now about anything anyway.
We went out on the weekend and it was just the 2 of us for a change which was really nice and for the first time in ages we properly connected and we're having a laugh together and I did say to him how nice it was and we needed to do more like that more often. But then friends of ours turned up and we ended up spending the rest of the night with them despite me saying to him I was enjoying the 1-1 time (it would be rude not to sit with them apparently).
We did have a bit of a semi drunken chat about things after that and I made it quite clear that things really do need to change and he agreed that neither of us was really happy. He then did some eye rolling and said "god not the sex thing again!" He just can't see why it's such a big issue to me.
Since then though he has started making an effort around the house doing things he usually wouldn't and has made an effort to talk to me more, so I am wondering if it would be worth a cards on table type chat? That said though, I don't know if it would make the blindest bit of difference to how I feel even if he did suddenly change. I think we're just 2 very different people now. I've spent the last 4 years thinking is this really it for the rest of my life? So can't see how things could change so drastically.
I don't really want to end up just turning round and announcing that I'm leaving with little warning, but I've asked him to go to couples counselling so many times and been met with a brick wall. We're meant to be saving to buy a house and he keeps talking about when we buy the house and I feel so guilty sitting knowing I'm not planning on that at all. I have dreams most nights that he proposes and I have to find ways to turn him down too :(
Sorry it's so long and rambly, but I just had to get it all out and don't really have anyone I can talk to about it!
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Relationships
Need to sort myself out!
NotWorkingOut · 02/06/2015 22:51
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