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Is this normal - no real feelings towards my oh

(4 Posts)
Firstimemummy15 Mon 01-Jun-15 11:14:42

So I'm a first time mummy, lo is 4 months old now. Had a but if a rough time when she was born and had to stay in hospital for a few days. My partner was brilliant through the birth and afterwards when we got home until he went back to work. Now he works 4 days a week and comes home, says hi, looks at the fish tank and then goes online with his son from a previous relationship on the Xbox for a couple of hours - me and my lo go and sit in our bedroom. He does a bit with our lg, takes her swimming, will play with her here and there but I don't feel it's enough. Anyway I'm snapping a lot at him and tbh don't feel like I have any feelings for him - I love my lg so much and she is the most important thing. I keep thinking I must try to make an effort and have just suggested my sister having our lg for a couple if hours so we can go for a meal - a big thing as I've not left her yet. Anyway he said no because he doesn't want to leave our lg but I suspect it's just that he doesn't want to spend time with me. Is all this normal after birth or should things be settling by now! Please be kind!!

rumred Mon 01-Jun-15 12:04:07

Depends how your relationship was before your child was born I think as to whether things are salvageable or not. Were you happy? Have you talked together about why you feel so separate? Could you be depressed?

midnightvelvet01 Mon 01-Jun-15 12:09:56

Could he be giving you space as he thinks you need it? If you are snapping at him a lot then he may just be avoiding you a little?

Do you include him in things or is it just you & your little girl at the moment?

You need an honest conversation tbh. How does he feel about you?

Firstimemummy15 Mon 01-Jun-15 12:15:46

Our relationship was brilliant that's why I'm finding it so hard! I don't feel like I'm depressed - my partner does however suffer from depression and we have been through a lot together! I've just tried talking to him this morning and he thinks I'm bring silly so maybe it's just all in my head! I've suggested we have time just the two of us maybe one night a month. He did say that my snapping does make him take a step back. I do try anf evolve him in as much as I can - I also don't know if he feels guilty that our lg is with us but his son is with mother. Thank you for your answers - has opened my eyes a little!

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