So I met my now husband 5 ago . The man I met was charming , funny and affectionate and he portrayed himself as a ideal father towards my daughter (his step daughter 13yo).
In the last 18 months he has become increasingly moody , temperamental and spiteful towards not just me but also my daughter . He always apologises or says he is joking for example ...
He calls out daughter names like , 'ginge' as she has strawberry blonde hair / constantly teases her / moans that she hasn't done this or that in the house. I think sometimes his expectations of a just turned 13 year old are too high ...what 13 year old has a spotless room as doesn't have the mood swings that hormonal girls do , he seems to purposefully try to but heads with her to the point I feel like I have to teenagers , his behaviour borders on the juvenile .
With our relationship we have real chemistry I still fancy him rotten but his recent behaviour means I just don't feel 'it' and am rarely in the mood when I've spent the day trending on eggshells or listening to snide or nasty remarks.
Just in the last week he has said things like-
Shut your trap in front of my sister and her husband
Stop being a baby (as I was upset at his behaviour )
You don't do anything round the house (when I do)
Leave me alone
Shouted at me because I made arrangements which meant he might have missed the start of the FA Cup final
F&£) off
Sulks on a regular basis
Threatened to shut my mouth for me (although he wouldn't touch me he sounds full of spite when he says this)
After the event he always says he was joking or he didn't mean it and is full of regret but he doesn't seem to want to change his behaviour . He tried counselling he didn't stick at it , he tried medication for depression but didn't keep taking them and then promises to change and I forgive him.
More often than not he won't acknowledge he has done anything wrong and then he is moody as he thinks I'm being over sensitive,
I've told him I think he is a bully and he doesn't seem able to admit this or indeed able to explain why he behaves like this ...?!?
I feel stuck in a never ending circle and fear my daughter thinks this is the way that husbands / men behave (sadly her father was hardly the greatest role model) . I feel I need to make sure I'm not being unreasonable are all men like this !?
I find myself having to lie to when people ask what's wrong with him I say nothing his joking etc but deep down I sense my family are noticing this change in him too .
I really do love this man (or at least the man I know he can be) and wish I could have the happy , charming man I met back , but I don't know if this is my wishful thinking , I feel I have failed and desperatey.
I know I've waffled on but I need some impartial advice ...
What would you do ?
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Am I being hyper sensitive ??
12 replies
chick1980 · 31/05/2015 17:03
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