on the verge of screwing it all

[LoveLetters]

Found out I'm pregnant with baby number 3... was really happy but my partner has suddenly started behaving like an arse. He keeps saying should we keep it or shouldn't we... But joking and not serious. When I speak to him he keeps telling me to shut up and then when I get upset he says he is just joking. It's not funny. When I explain its not funny he tells me to get a grip and to stop being so easy to wind up. I can't have an adult conversation with hun because it desends into him winding me up again. I had 4 hours sleep last night due to teething 2 yr old yet while he is asleep upstairs... I'm downstairs sorting the kids out. It's all mounting up and I just feel like telling Him to pee off. He is never affectionate unless he wants to get his leg over. I feel unloved and unappreciated. All he goes on about is how much money he brings home and how he pays for everything. Which is a lie. I work from home to pay for all odd jobs, schools fees, nursery fees and food shopping. So I work, run the house, kids and im developing a product that will be in Boots at some point. I'm being backed by investors. Am I being oversensitive? I'd rather do it all on my own without the constant negative comments I just dont need.

[LoveLetters]

Anyone? ??

[Littletabbyocelot]

I don't think you're being over sensitive at all. Not sure what to say because it's hard from a distance to see any reason to be with him. Sounds like you're doing amazing things.

[GoatsDoRoam]

You are not being oversensitive.

Your partner is dragging you down, often intentionally. When he makes nasty comments to you, he knows exactly what he's doing. He gets off on making you feel bad. It's not that you can't take a joke, it's that he doesn't want to treat you with respect and kindness.

You are doing brilliantly, taking care of children and working. You would clearly still be able to take care of you + DC without this man dragging you down. The emotional strain of living with a man like that must be exhausting, and you really don't need that.

[Joysmum]

Since when was a joke about killing off a life growing inside of you ever going to be funny?

[LoveLetters]

I've just blown up at him and told him unless he changes I'm off. Instead of saying I'm sorry, I'm going to do something about it. He says going where... As if to say I have no where to go and he knows it. I actually feel a bit hysterical.. think hormones are kicking in.

[GoatsDoRoam]

What a horrible reply from him.

What's your living situation? Do you own or rent? In whose name are deeds/lease?

[NickiFury]

Some men think they've trapped you and turn unpleasant within days of the wedding, some during the first pregnancy, some after the birth of a child. It's taken till after your third pregnancy for your DP to show his true colours hence the "where you going to go comment" only now. It depends what you want to happen now? Personally I think zero tolerance should be the way forward and a sharp shock involving you leaving or chucking him out might be the key.

[goddessofsmallthings]

"All he goes on about is how much money he brings home and how he pays for everything. Which is a lie. I work from home to pay for all odd jobs, schools fees, nursery fees and food shopping. So I work, run the house, kids and im developing a product that will be in Boots at some point. I'm being backed by investors"

You sound awesome; he sounds insecure.

It seems to me that he's scared of you becoming more successful than he can ever be is and, instead of facing up to his fears and discussing them with you in an adult manner, he's reverted to being a little boy who deliberately sets out to irritate and then claims they didn't mean it.

[Boomerwang]

Will he be different tomorrow? Will he be different in a week? A month? A year? What has to change for him to treat you properly? Is it a change for the better, or for worse, for you?

Start making plans because your last post is a red flag. He's just put you in your place so you are now unequal. Even the score!!

[Jan45]

So he is happy to impregnate you 3 times but not happy to support his own children, he takes the piss about getting rid of baby 3, no you are not being sensitive, he sounds bloody awful, a man child, it wont get better unless you insist on new ground rules, one being that he stops slagging you off, makes me mad, does he have any idea what it is like to carry a child inside you - eugh.

[bunchoffives]

where are you going to go to?

This leaves you no choice OP. If you want your marriage to survive you have to now leave (and if it were me I'd go on my own and leave hime with the dc). Or better, make him leave.

But do not ignore this because if you do I guarantee by next year he will be treating you with zero respect all of the time and it will be too late to change.

[Hidingmyidentity]

It sounds as though he is putting you down deliberately, to keep you in your place. Is he jealous of your success with your product development?

Don't make threats about leaving & then do nothing. He knows you are vulnerable because of the pregnancy & I fear this will only get worse.

He sounds absolutely dreadful.

[Boomerwang]

Update please, I'm concerned about your situation, OP.