Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Taken to the net for advice...confused

(9 Posts)
mac250690 Wed 27-May-15 00:24:37

So, I met someone and we started a friendship, a really good friendship and it seems to be constantly developing. one problem she has a boyfriend...well she started seeing someone shortly after we met but he seems to be slipping more and more into the background.
She would see him on a weekend and we would just have a weekly get together but over the past 3/4 weeks i've started staying at hers instead of walking 5 mins home. We were together the whole bank holiday and started making plans for weekends and nights away.
I found out that her friends think I'm the boyfriend coz she feels comfortable introducing me to them, i've even met all her work collegues.
Am I over thinking this because its seems i'm heading into the boyfriend role here.

Noneedtoworryatall Wed 27-May-15 00:30:18

Probably time to tell her how you feel op

Where's the boyfriend while this is going on?

mac250690 Wed 27-May-15 00:43:27

I dont know, i would have expected them to be together thismweekend being a bank holiday but me and her ended up at show on saturday then going to hers and again yesterday/last night...he was doing DIY?? and it was the same last weekend aswell

You're either
a) soon to be new boyfriend
b) safe friend, no threat to relationship.

Which do you think you might be?

Offred Wed 27-May-15 01:08:39

yeah but do you want to be with someone who would just gradually and quietly phase out their current partner and phase in a new one? Won't you, once the initial honeymoon phase wears off, be concerned that actually you'll be phased out too? It's not very honest what she's doing and could be a sign that she isn't particularly emotionally mature/stable if she is using one man to get rid of another. I think really the best thing for you to do would be to back off. If you really like her then you surely want to know that she actually wants to be with you as a person not just as a tool to crowbar her out of a relationship she doesn't want anymore.

Offred Wed 27-May-15 01:10:56

she's basically trying you on for size without making a decision and in the process disrespecting you both IMO

catmaze Wed 27-May-15 05:38:42

Is the boyfriend real? Her friends think it's you.

Old saying,"Softly, softly, catchy monkey", I think you're the monkey.

Offred Wed 27-May-15 10:38:44

Whether the boyfriend is real or not it's not the kind of thing you (or anyone) should settle for - being treated in this way. Are you happy with being strung along and treated as a back up boyfriend?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now