SAHM leaving EA H - where to from here?

[Goodbyeivehadenough]

So, I've had enough, as my username says! So sick of and hurt by the name calling, hostility, general unpleasantness. I've posted on here before under a different name and got some great advice/support.

I need to start working asap. I will hopefully have childcare sorted in the next 2-3 weeks and can then start working/earning. The problem is, what do I put on my CV? I haven't had a job in over 6 years. We have debt (all in my name!) so really need to get on this.

[Goodbyeivehadenough]

Posted too soon! Where else can I get support/advice from? Is there anything I can do to rearrange debt? Also, I'd like a divorce asap, is there a quick and inexpensive way of going about it?

[mrschatty]

Hi- tge monet advice service are free and v practical definitely give them a call re debt
Re-divorce sorry can't help. In- laws got a v cheap divorce basically just solicitors fees to draw up the paper and sign but still a couple hundred.
Re CV- can you start volunteer work in the sector your interested in? It will show willing and eagerness to work xxx

[Goodbyeivehadenough]

Thanks, mrschatty. I've been eager to work for a long time now. It's just the cost of childcare that has put me off. Also you need to be really flexible with work hours. I have a relative who has kindly offered to help with childcare, so I'm now free to work any hours really.

A couple hundred for a divorce sounds reasonable. I'm going to ask for it when he decides to show his face. He'll probably hurl more abuse at me.

[pocketsaviour]

What did you do before having children? If something specialised, do you still have any contacts in that field? (In fact even if non-specialised like retail or call centre work it's often worth asking friends as a recommendation goes a long way.)

[Topseyt]

I can't offer advice re the divorce, but I was an SAHM for 15 years, initially due to the costs of childcare, and then because I ended up looking for work again during a rather long and deep recession.

Although it took me a long time to find suitable work, I did find that being upfront with prospective employers about the reason for the gap in my employment history was the way to go, and generally better received than I originally thought. That is, the cost of childcare for two and then three children was prohibitive and way exceeded my earning capability.

Play to your strengths. After a 6 year gap, your skills may perhaps need some updating, but will be by no means as outdated as mine were after 15 years. I am an office administrator/assistant. This was my background before children, and it is what I have gone back to in the end.

When I stopped work to have my second baby back in November 1998 the internet was just beginning to get a foothold. During my 15 year break there was a veritable explosion of it, almost akin to a revolution. So much more is simply done online now, which would not have been the case back in 1998. Hence, I was very out of date, but it helped that the internet had also taken over so much on the home front too, and I have always been a good typist anyway. I had also kept my hand in on a basic level with Word and Excel on my home computer, and that meant that going back to an environment where they were in constant use was much less of a problem than it might have been.

Your relative is really throwing you a lifeline with regard to the childcare issue. Make the most, and I hope you find something relatively quickly. In the meantime make sure that you are claiming any benefits and allowances to which you may be entitled. No shame there, you have to try and make ends meet.

Wishing you loads of luck.

[Topseyt]

On your CV I would probably write that you needed to take a career break due to the prohibitive costs of childcare for your children. That you are now in a position to return to paid employment and are looking forward to updating your skills in the near future. There is plenty of truth in it, so you won't trip yourself up, yet it avoids any obligation to refer to your relationship problems at this stage.


That was in the end how I approached the issue on my own CV.