I'm probably being petty, but there must be a reason I feel this way.
My two sisters (much older than me, I'm 21 and the oldest is 37) have the same dad (I clearly feel this is relevant somehow) they grew up alongside eachother and are close. I'd say considering the age gap, we get on pretty well, I'm certainly closer to my older sister but anyway! My mum seems to make a LOT of allowances for my sisters; which is great, one sister lives 5 minutes drive up the road so obviously she will see my mum more (I'm a 30 minute drive away) but my mum makes a hell a lot of effort to help and support my other sister who lives an hours drive away. She will bend over backwards for her, driving late at night to look after her children that are sick so my sister can go to work the next day (my mum starts work at 3pm and will leave my sisters at 2 to get to work on time). As I'm typing I feel so petty. I hope I'm not.
My mum sees me once a week, it's lovely and I appreciate the effort she goes to, but she's never really there when I need her, which is fair, she has her own life but she's there for my two other sisters, always.
My DP seems to think it's because my sisters dp's are useless and she compensates, my dp does do a lot but he works long hours and can no longer take any time off if I'm sick.
yesterday was one of my mums days off, I have a tooth infection that has swollen up my entire face, given me the worst migraine ever and made me physically sick, yesterday I sat on the sofa and cried because I couldn't get dd to Playschool or barely move with out feeling nauseous and I called my mum all day just wanting some help, I couldn't get through as she was "in the garden" for 12 hours apparently but my sister can call at any hour, before she has to go to work and she'll be there.
I guess I'm sad because I feel an outsider, my mum admits she didn't look after me much when I was little and it was left to my middle sister as she had depression (tells me she had it for 20 years) :( and constantly reminds Me how difficult I was as a child.
My father died when I was 9 and I really am starting to feel like I don't have much of a family anymore, they all have a lot of time for eachother and unless i make the effort I'm never involved :/
Rant that probably makes no sense, I'm just feeling so sad and alone and wondering what I've done to make it like this and what I could do to make it better
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Relationships
Why doesn't my mother bother with me as much?
Chuckitinthefuckitbucket · 23/05/2015 08:38
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