I will try to keep this as short as possible. My bank balance is currently sitting at 110pounds overdrawn, tomorrow I am due to pay childcare fees, I will need to put petrol in the car to get to work, and entertain DS this weekend as it is my (one and only) weekend with him in the month. Other than milk I have enough food for meals to get through the next few days until I get working tax credits on Monday, but by which point I will be right back to square one...overdrawn. And so the cycle will continue
Exp has taken it upon himself to stop paying child maintenance, which is why things are so tight. He stopped paying around christmas, as I didn't agree to what he wanted and this is his way of controlling me. It always has been. I contacted CMS, they tracked him, made a calculation of 450pounds per month, but before the first payment was due he had already quit his job to ensure I didn't receive it (he had always warned me if i went to CMS he would do this, but had no other option as he wasn't paying anyway)
He is now claiming he is starting a business. Which has never been mentioned before in all the time I have known him but knowing him like I do, the sole motivation for becoming self employed is to avoid paying much/anything through CMS.
But my problem is this...if he was genuinely hard up financially, fine. Aren't we all. I'd accept that and make the most of what I have and focus on the positives. But this is a man of considerable wealth
On top of the very well paid job he had, he buys flats, renovates them himself, and then sells them on at a substantial profit. He has other flats which he owns and rents out. They are however undeclared to HMRC. HMO flats which he claims are non profit, and advertises on gumtree so can get away with saying he is not a landlord. (I have reported him numerous times since december, they have yet to catch up with him). And at court a few weeks ago, he stated that he wanted to take DS away on a skiing trip abroad at easter, for a 3 week holiday to spain in summer, then to disneyland florida in October. He wants DS to go to a fee paying school, yet also claims he is unable to pay child maintenance as he is no longer working
But I have no proof of this, other than the 3 flats which came up on a land registry search (which leads me to believe he has recently sold or transferred names on deeds of the other properties I know of)
Can he really get away with this forever? From what I have read on here, CMS are generally pretty useless. I was told on the phone that they can only go by what HMRC have on him, which is nothing, and may well be nothing for a while yet. I feel sick to my stomach knowing that he is doing this to DS. he is aware of my financial situation and could not care less. How dare he do this to DS
I can just about pay the bills, I get all the help I am entitled to, help with rent etc but my disposable income is zero, so after food petrol etc and all bills I have nothing. Exp wants this, he is narcissistic without a doubt, and sees this as a compitition, he wants to be the favourite parent who has all the cool stuff, all the latest gadgets, all the best holidays and for DS to then come back to me and have nothing. He is thoroughly enjoying this.
Is there ANYONE out there who has experienced similar but has managed to get child maintenance? When it come round to birthdays, christmas etc I'm snookered, it's not fair on DS
I have sent the additional income form with proof of the properties i found from the land registry search, and will do a further search to see who now owns the other properties, but he will fight tooth and nail to make sure I get nothing from him. Is there an appeals process for when it comes back as another nill assessment and will they really fight this cause? the last few days I have been sick with worry about what the future holds, it's looking fairly grim
I should also add, we are due to go to mediation, he wants to discuss cm there, but he wants it to be done based on my outgoings, he has asked to see all my bills, childcare etc and thinks it should go down next year when DS starts school as I'll no longer be paying childcare. I could scream
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please give me some hope/reassurance
imskintandheismint · 21/05/2015 22:58
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