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I left my computer on and dp read my posts

(17 Posts)
dpreadmythread Tue 12-May-15 21:47:21

NC for this. I posted here about an issue with my dp, there were some thoughtful replies, it is a difficult issue. I came home tonight and realised that I had left my computer on with mn page on a tab and it was the open tab- the one that I had been posting on about him and our issues.

He has not called today, not replied to texts. I think he read it. The thread was about him and an issue he is facing and I am facing with him, all real, no fibs, no hyperbole, but if it was me reading this about myself on the internets I would be wounded. I dont know what to do. He might not have read it. He might have though and I dont know what to do to find out if did read it or to explain that I was trying to help by asking for help. He must feel betrayed but I did not think I was betraying by asking for help. Oh dear.

Any suggestions?

I am mortified. I love him, he is not behaving badly. It was not one of those threads where the answer would be LTB. It was started with genuine loss of where to go next.

evelynj Tue 12-May-15 21:51:11

Explain that this is generally a community of caring & wise voices who are anonymous & give honest opinions. show him this thread & speak to him about it. Good luck

evelynj Tue 12-May-15 21:52:27

Btw, my dh would freak out big style if he saw anything I wrote about him on here, even though it's not bad...

Noneedtoworryatall Tue 12-May-15 22:04:08

I once read a thread about me on here and it wasn't nice at all so if he did read it I can see how it would make him feel. Depends on the context though doesn't it.

If he saw it you will know soon enough, horrible limbo for you though.

Could you say to him that you started a thread. Get in before he does??

mynewpassion Tue 12-May-15 22:06:03

Why post again so quickly after being discovered is what I don't understand? Say he's periodically checking the site to see if you post further and you post this thread about him again.

further betrayal?

mynewpassion Tue 12-May-15 22:08:17

i know its not a helpful post but you may be hurting him a bit more with this new thread.

U2TheEdge Tue 12-May-15 22:13:00

Yeah, I don't think it is very wise to start another thread when he is probably now reading this board.

This is why I don't personally post about any problems on forums because I would feel betrayed if my husband did the same, but I know for a lot of people this might be the only place they have to go for advice.

I hope that you can sort it out and he will understand why you felt the need to post about your problems thanks

goddessofsmallthings Tue 12-May-15 22:15:52

Without knowing what you've written about him - i.e whether some of it may be perceived as being derogatory or belittling him in any way - I don't see why he should be offended that you've posted here.

Any rightminded person would of course be horrified to find intimate details of their private lives/relationships plastered over the internet, but presuming you haven't published the problem(s) together with identifying information on facebook, twitter, or other social media sites, seeking advice here is no different to offloading to a stranger on a train/plane.

To my mind that would be infinitely preferable to discovering that the opinions of family/friends had been solicited without my prior knowledge, which is what I would consider to be a betrayal.

Take the bull by the horns and show him your thread when you next see him.... and post again for further advice if necessary grin

If he can't understand that you chose the 'anonymous' option rather than broadcast his/your problems to the world, then he's got an additional problem.

Tuesdaysgone Tue 12-May-15 22:20:12

FGS don't show him this thread.

Finding one thread about you is bad enough.

springydaffs Tue 12-May-15 22:39:53

I understand he may be horrified I really do. But this place is so anonymous, there is no way anyone could trace it back to him/you - you could be two of millions of potential posters. If it is indeed a sensitive problem then this is the ideal place to get advice and support completely anonymously - which compromises no-one.

tuppenneth Tue 12-May-15 22:51:38

I don't think your 'Name Change' was carried out with enough cunning & thought to be quite honest.

Estcal Tue 12-May-15 23:12:52

OP doesn't need to show their DP this thread. If he's come back to the R board for another look, the thread title will give it away immediately! This thread makes it worse. And what can be said now to make it better, what was the point of this new thread? confused

Estcal Tue 12-May-15 23:15:03

Oh dear. OP I think I know which thread it was. I don't know how you can make him feel better about it, but all you can do is try to reassure that you posted to try to make improvements to your situation. For both of you.

beezlebop Wed 13-May-15 00:44:10

sad

dpreadmythread Wed 13-May-15 18:56:04

I've asked for this to be deleted by mn.

AnyFucker Wed 13-May-15 20:39:44

tuppeneth are you op's partner ?

VanitasVanitatum Wed 13-May-15 20:42:50

Difficult.. A lot of us write about our DPs without really considering how they'd feel if they read it.

It is anonymous however, and seeking community advice is very human.

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