My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

would you be worried about posting things here in case somebody recognised you?

45 replies

VixforVictory · 05/05/2015 23:15

I was about to start a new thread but I am worried that if somebody is 'watching', they will know straightaway that it's me.

OP posts:
Report
CMOTGilbertBlythe · 05/05/2015 23:18

Name change, then they can't link it to your usual username. Also change some of the details.

Report
Fontella · 05/05/2015 23:23

I must admit it does bother me sometimes, and I still haven't figured out how to namechange even though people have explained it several times.

I very often write a long reply to something and then don't post it because it's got too many identifying features. Some stories are just so unique and specific that if anyone known in real life was reading it .. they would know it was me. There's some things I would love to write about on here but just can't - real people, real events.

At other times I will maybe change a few details deliberately - time spans, locations, maybe amalgamate a couple of events etc. ... just try and disguise things a little so I can still tell the gist of the story without the indentifying features.

It's difficult, and I do think most posters probably wonder from time to time if they are giving away too much information.

Are you thinking of one person in particular identifying you, or just anyone who might recognise you in general terms?

Report
VixforVictory · 05/05/2015 23:23

Difficult one... the name isn't the problem but the issue is! Confused

OP posts:
Report
VixforVictory · 05/05/2015 23:25

One person in particular.. it may be me just being paranoid but as you say, sometimes the story is too unique!

OP posts:
Report
Gralick · 06/05/2015 02:33

I got over this after several times thinking I recognised a poster, only to realise later it couldn't possibly be the same person. Human stories are astonishingly similar.

It would be unadvisable to write names of places or people, and you'd need to reframe any events you described if they were really uncommon. "DP walked out on me and my two DC while we were all stuck in the car during a motorway pile-up" would make you recognisable, but not if he buggered off while you were all in a shopping centre!

The main things to watch out for are threads like baby names, chatty ones about where you live, what car you drive, etc. It's easy to match up a poster's little disclosures of identifying details.

Report
BitOfFun · 06/05/2015 02:41

No, because I would never post anything very personal.

It is still worth looking through past threads though for similar situations to get advice. There is nothing new under the sun.

Report
BG2015 · 06/05/2015 05:04

My ex has tracked me down and found out something I wish he hadnt.

Name changed now as I believe he was stalking me.

Report
newnamesamegame · 06/05/2015 06:05

It's already happened to me :) (with a good friend, as opposed to an ex or anything more sinister). Freaked me right out. I try to change a couple of details if I'm relating anything very personal now.

Report
WeAreEternal · 06/05/2015 06:12

I've posted that much obviously identifiable info on here over the years under this NN that I wouldn't be surprised in the slightest if quite a few people recognised me, I know a few already have as the have mentioned it in RL. It doesn't bother me though.
If I wanted to post something very personal I would change a few key details to make it less obvious, and possibly name change.

Report
TelephoneIgnoringMachine · 06/05/2015 06:26

Yes. I have a few previous NC's, some I still occasionally use, and a couple set up for use when/ if I need them in future. I work in a fairly specific job sector so if I ever felt I could give advice (for example) I have a NC ready to go, that I've never used, so no one in RL could say it was definitely me. If I gave advice under my current name and someone in RL saw it, it would be obvious.

Plus, the PILs and my own family are a pain, and I suspect they at least come on MN occasionally.

Report
DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 06/05/2015 07:29

I'm probably "out" to my other main talkboard, but I've shared some really raw stuff with them over the years, and they with me. I take care not to name my employers, and never describe their business in detail. DW and I don't share much online bar the odd picture, and have our own laptops.

And on top of it all, I care nothing for the opinion of others, bar the very few who would forgive me anything*, and vice versa.

*Obviously not the last rum truffle, or remarks about my choice of wine.

Report
Mehitabel6 · 06/05/2015 07:35

I make sure that I don't post anything that makes me recognisable- I always change small details.

Report
holeinmyheart · 06/05/2015 08:59

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

mrsmeerkat · 06/05/2015 09:04

I think there are too many users on mn. I am on an Irish board and have recognised two people who were pregnant at the same time as me and on the same month boardm hence why I moved to mumsnet.

I wouldn't post baby names or location etc I name change every two months.

Report
ElizaPickford · 06/05/2015 09:06

I've recognised RL friends on here and been recognised. I am quite paranoid and NC a lot!

Report
Anniegetyourgun · 06/05/2015 09:28

No fewer than three people who were aware I post on Mumsnet picked me out independently within 5 minutes, not through personal details (though I probably do give too many) but from my posting style. Apparently I write exactly how I speak blush Mind you I don't think I've got anything to hide...

Report
Anniegetyourgun · 06/05/2015 09:28

Pooh, a rare emoticon failure there Blush

Report
GoshNotAnotherOne · 06/05/2015 09:59

I want to post too. Now I'm worried the person I want to post about will think you are me!

Report
Rousebarnlane · 06/05/2015 10:14

My ex and my current partner know I use Mumsnet because I often mention it.

I think I've even quoted some Mumsnet threads on my Facebook before, so no doubt my family may also know I'm on here.

But then again, I can only really think of 2 people who cba to actively seek me out on here and they're fairly obsessive gossipmongers themselves (my Mum and one of my sisters), so yes, I do try to be careful what I write.

But sometimes, you just need to tell the whole story to get the right advice and opinions.

As always, once you put your first online footprint down, you're trackable forever thereafter, so start as you mean to go on.

I'd like to know how to have a thread deleted, that way I can post about relationship issues and after a few hours delete it in case my boyfriend has been looking. Then again, I know that he was very active on a work related but quite social forum a few years ago and was a moderator too I think, yet I've never felt compelled to search out his posts. I suppose I wouldn't want to come across any cringeful stuff (which we are all guilty of) or flirting.

It's never occurred to me to seek out people I know who I think might post on here, but I'm pretty sure I'd know which boards they'd post on if I did. That's not why I'm here - snooping - that's what Facebook's for! Grin
I'm here for personal advice and to gain insight from other threads.

Report
Rousebarnlane · 06/05/2015 10:20

And thinking about it, my username and what I've just written poignantly out to me to anyone in RL Grin what a donut!

Report
Dowser · 06/05/2015 10:37

Can't believe you put all that about Cognito. Hole in my heart.

I'm sure she's shared personal stuff on here but it feels wrong to see it all parrotted out and singled out.

Some people may be happy with that but I feel uncomfortable.

Report
GaryBaldy · 06/05/2015 10:39

I NC regularly or like Fontella change a few details here and there.

Obv if you NC you risk those who pile in and call troll...

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

GaryBaldy · 06/05/2015 10:40

If you don't want something to appear in google searches, there is always the other place that you can post in.

Report
pocketsaviour · 06/05/2015 10:46

It never worries me. But then I tend to be very open and straightforward in everything. I kind of go by "If you're about to do/say something you wouldn't want everyone in your life to know about, you probably shouldn't do/say it."

Report
00100001 · 06/05/2015 11:05

I have a 'Mumsnet' life and family- has no resemblance to reality Grin

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.