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Boyfriend looking at his ex’s FB profile a lot?

(32 Posts)
Quaintsunnyvillage Tue 05-May-15 11:34:10

Would it bother you if your DPs ex was always the top of his ‘most recently searched’ on FB?

He’s ‘slipped up’ a couple of times and I’ve seen that she is either at the top of his most searched or second/third from top.

I know it’s something minor and shouldn’t really matter, and it’s not like I’ve never looked at an ex’s FB profile, I think I’m just a bit meh about it because the first time he was showing me something and went to type something in to the search bar and her name was at the top, with my name underneath and then some of his friends names. A few weeks later he did it again and this time her name was second from top, so it seems that he is probably looking at her profile on a pretty regular basis.

He doesn’t really use FB that much, extremely rare that he posts, he may have a scroll once a day or something but that’s about it and so I do find it strange that he seems to be searching for her and looking at her profile.

I think I am a bit paranoid about this ex in general as there was ‘unfinished business’ if you like and I have occasionally wondered if he’s over her.

I guess it just miffs me a bit that he cares what one of his exes is up to so much that he obviously gawps at her profile on a pretty regular basis, it’s only this ex that appears, none of his others.

Yes, I’m bats* crazy aren’t I blushblush

Brambles34 Tue 05-May-15 11:37:17

How long have you been together?

fatballerina Tue 05-May-15 11:42:08

It would bother me.

Brambles34 Tue 05-May-15 11:44:35

It would bother me too. I'm glad my FH isn't on FB

despomum41 Tue 05-May-15 11:44:47

snap it would bother me too

Brambles34 Tue 05-May-15 11:45:18

*DH not FH (although he is one of those sometimes! Lol)

Quaintsunnyvillage Tue 05-May-15 11:45:39

Been together 14 months

SoupDragon Tue 05-May-15 11:46:19

Why are you checking who he is searching for? Do you have reason not to trust him?

Quaintsunnyvillage Tue 05-May-15 11:51:14

Do you think I should mention it? Normally I’d rather die than let him know I’m bothered, but at the same time, if it keeps happening, I want to know why. Yes, we all have a nosey at exes occasionally but if one of mine was consistently (or seemingly so) at the top of my blummin searches all the time I think he’d probably have something to say!

I think I’ll just have to keep an eye on it (when possible) and if say next week, or the week after it’s still the same, I’ll have to say something.

PamDooveOrangeJoof Tue 05-May-15 11:52:57

It would be the unfinished business that would bother me more to be honest. That combined doesn't sound good.

I sometimes look at exes but not regularly and there is no unfinished business with them. Sheer nosiness on my part.

Quaintsunnyvillage Tue 05-May-15 11:57:31

No, no reason not to trust him, he is lovely. I haven’t been checking, it’s literally been a couple of instances the past few weeks where weve been laying on the sofa or whatever and he’s said ‘oh, check this out on so and so’s profile.’ And ‘Did you see that XX got a new puppy.’ And he went to search for them to bring up their profile and when he did, I was obviously looking and could see there and then who is top/recent searches were.

I know it’s all a bit silly and something so small wouldn’t normally bother me in the slightest, I guess I just have a bit of a niggling feeling, but I have no reason whatsoever to not trust him, he is the most fantastic, loving BF so I guess I need to get some perspective and not let it bother me. He’s probably just being nosey, I dunno.

TokenGinger Tue 05-May-15 12:00:54

If he isn't on Facebook much, isn't it possible that the searches are the same search?

For example, I've just looked at mine now. Somebody I searched for 3 weeks ago is still at the top of my list because I haven't searched for anybody else since. Also, as soon as you tap somebody on your recently searched, it shoots straight to the top again. My fingers are fat. I am always doing that!

despomum41 Tue 05-May-15 12:02:54

communication is the main key talk to him dont let it eat you up if its all innocent no problem but if its something else then you can sort it out now better than later sad

alwayshungry100 Tue 05-May-15 12:10:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

alwayshungry100 Tue 05-May-15 12:11:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DextersMistress Tue 05-May-15 12:11:59

What token said is right, there isn't a 'most searched' list, it's just the order in which you searched iykwim. Top of the list is the last person you searched, nothing to do with how many times.

nicenewdusters Tue 05-May-15 12:14:00

Don't torture yourself, just ask him. It's probably a good sign if 14 months in you can ask him, and his answer will tell you a lot about your relationship. Having a nose about an ex once in a while is ok, but regularly, after more than a year apart, not so much.

Quaintsunnyvillage Tue 05-May-15 16:35:19

Well, it could just be that he doesn’t search people very often and so it could have been an old search. Will try and keep an eye on it but I’m sure I’m probably just being silly.

shovetheholly Tue 05-May-15 16:44:23

I think some degree of curiosity is natural. People want to see how things have panned out for an ex, and the feelings associated with that aren't all positive - schadenfreude, for instance! A friend of mine was practically dancing round the room with glee when his ex, who had cheated on me, was in trouble in her new relationship.

shovetheholly Tue 05-May-15 16:44:41

*who had cheated on him, not me!!

DuelingFanjo Tue 05-May-15 16:48:56

I search my EX's facebook ALL THE TIME. Never in a million years would I contact him or get back together with him. I am just nosey.

PeppermintPasty Tue 05-May-15 17:00:35

Haha yy dueling, I blocked my ex but I always have a good look on his current gf's profile cos I'm so nosey and he's in her profile pic and looks bloody appalling grin

Twinklestein Tue 05-May-15 17:43:15

I look at the website of a very old ex occasionally, and I have no desire to be with him or even be in touch. It's mainly because he's a writer and he's written stuff about me in the past, and I'm vain and nosey.

Metalgoddess Tue 05-May-15 17:44:27

It would bother me as she's obviously still in his thoughts whether positive or negative.

missqwerty Tue 05-May-15 20:12:22

I snoop at my exs, my partners exes, random ppl from my past. Means nothing to me I'm just nosy lol

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