Boyfriend looking at his ex’s FB profile a lot?

[Quaintsunnyvillage]

Would it bother you if your DPs ex was always the top of his ‘most recently searched’ on FB?

He’s ‘slipped up’ a couple of times and I’ve seen that she is either at the top of his most searched or second/third from top.

I know it’s something minor and shouldn’t really matter, and it’s not like I’ve never looked at an ex’s FB profile, I think I’m just a bit meh about it because the first time he was showing me something and went to type something in to the search bar and her name was at the top, with my name underneath and then some of his friends names. A few weeks later he did it again and this time her name was second from top, so it seems that he is probably looking at her profile on a pretty regular basis.

He doesn’t really use FB that much, extremely rare that he posts, he may have a scroll once a day or something but that’s about it and so I do find it strange that he seems to be searching for her and looking at her profile.

I think I am a bit paranoid about this ex in general as there was ‘unfinished business’ if you like and I have occasionally wondered if he’s over her.

I guess it just miffs me a bit that he cares what one of his exes is up to so much that he obviously gawps at her profile on a pretty regular basis, it’s only this ex that appears, none of his others.

Yes, I’m bats* crazy aren’t I

[Brambles34]

How long have you been together?

[fatballerina]

It would bother me.

[Brambles34]

It would bother me too. I'm glad my FH isn't on FB

[despomum41]

snap it would bother me too

[Brambles34]

*DH not FH (although he is one of those sometimes! Lol)

[Quaintsunnyvillage]

Been together 14 months

[SoupDragon]

Why are you checking who he is searching for? Do you have reason not to trust him?

[Quaintsunnyvillage]

Do you think I should mention it? Normally I’d rather die than let him know I’m bothered, but at the same time, if it keeps happening, I want to know why. Yes, we all have a nosey at exes occasionally but if one of mine was consistently (or seemingly so) at the top of my blummin searches all the time I think he’d probably have something to say!

I think I’ll just have to keep an eye on it (when possible) and if say next week, or the week after it’s still the same, I’ll have to say something.

[PamDooveOrangeJoof]

It would be the unfinished business that would bother me more to be honest. That combined doesn't sound good.

I sometimes look at exes but not regularly and there is no unfinished business with them. Sheer nosiness on my part.

[Quaintsunnyvillage]

No, no reason not to trust him, he is lovely. I haven’t been checking, it’s literally been a couple of instances the past few weeks where weve been laying on the sofa or whatever and he’s said ‘oh, check this out on so and so’s profile.’ And ‘Did you see that XX got a new puppy.’ And he went to search for them to bring up their profile and when he did, I was obviously looking and could see there and then who is top/recent searches were.

I know it’s all a bit silly and something so small wouldn’t normally bother me in the slightest, I guess I just have a bit of a niggling feeling, but I have no reason whatsoever to not trust him, he is the most fantastic, loving BF so I guess I need to get some perspective and not let it bother me. He’s probably just being nosey, I dunno.

[TokenGinger]

If he isn't on Facebook much, isn't it possible that the searches are the same search?

For example, I've just looked at mine now. Somebody I searched for 3 weeks ago is still at the top of my list because I haven't searched for anybody else since. Also, as soon as you tap somebody on your recently searched, it shoots straight to the top again. My fingers are fat. I am always doing that!

[despomum41]

communication is the main key talk to him dont let it eat you up if its all innocent no problem but if its something else then you can sort it out now better than later :(

[DextersMistress]

What token said is right, there isn't a 'most searched' list, it's just the order in which you searched iykwim. Top of the list is the last person you searched, nothing to do with how many times.

[nicenewdusters]

Don't torture yourself, just ask him. It's probably a good sign if 14 months in you can ask him, and his answer will tell you a lot about your relationship. Having a nose about an ex once in a while is ok, but regularly, after more than a year apart, not so much.

[Quaintsunnyvillage]

Well, it could just be that he doesn’t search people very often and so it could have been an old search. Will try and keep an eye on it but I’m sure I’m probably just being silly.

[shovetheholly]

I think some degree of curiosity is natural. People want to see how things have panned out for an ex, and the feelings associated with that aren't all positive - schadenfreude, for instance! A friend of mine was practically dancing round the room with glee when his ex, who had cheated on me, was in trouble in her new relationship.

[shovetheholly]

*who had cheated on him, not me!!

[DuelingFanjo]

I search my EX's facebook ALL THE TIME. Never in a million years would I contact him or get back together with him. I am just nosey.

[PeppermintPasty]

Haha yy dueling, I blocked my ex but I always have a good look on his current gf's profile cos I'm so nosey and he's in her profile pic and looks bloody appalling

[Twinklestein]

I look at the website of a very old ex occasionally, and I have no desire to be with him or even be in touch. It's mainly because he's a writer and he's written stuff about me in the past, and I'm vain and nosey.

[Metalgoddess]

It would bother me as she's obviously still in his thoughts whether positive or negative.

[missqwerty]

I snoop at my exs, my partners exes, random ppl from my past. Means nothing to me I'm just nosy lol

[PinkTardis]

I had the exact same problem with dp a few days ok- he'd left his Facebook signed in on my phone I went to search thinking it was my profile and after a few moments of confusion wondering who the people on my list where I realised it was his and that his ex was at the top. I brought it up immediately , I moved in a month ago I've left my friends and family behind and to see him search an ex I found a little inappropriate- he had a very logical excuse, we where going to a traveling fair in her village and he wanted to check on fb if she had plans to go that day ( open profile) as he didn't really want to go if she'd be there.

That being said whilst single I've Facebook stalked all my exes and their girlfriends lol