lonely single parent

[madgirlslovesong]

I love being a single parent on the whole. Love my job, have three wonderful children, a nice home. I'm proud that I left a marriage where I was emotionally abused and where dh gambled, drank excessively and lied to me.

But I can't say it's been easy. I had two short relationships that ended badly and l was left feeling quite raw.

It's been a period of adjustment. I think I'm doing ok.

However I'm feeling quite lonely. Just spent the bank holiday alone. Ex had my dc. My closest friend has gone silent since getting a boyfriend and moving him in. She actually said that her other friends barely told her anything now they had partners and that's the way it should be in her view

I asked her over for my birthday afternoon tea and champagne soon. She read the message and three days later, no answer. I'm not sure I even have anyone to invite. It'll probably be me, the kids and maybe my mum if I can persuade her to come. Seems a silly idea now.

Another close friend is no longer a close friend. She went v distant since my marriage ended. She texts occasionally, but takes about three months to reply to anything, so little point. I know people have their own lives, so I've just left it really.

This is all rather self indulgent, I know. There are worse things than being lonely. I know people will suggest meet up etc. But I've tried that and didn't enjoy it much. There's a woman at work I like and she's mentioned going out at some point, so I might make an effort on the next work do.

I'm still online dating but no one really interests me and I don't want a man to 'rescue' me from my loneliness! I'm badly bruised and a bit wary from my previous break ups, so it'd take someone v special to turn my head. But even if I met someone, I still want good girlfriends to go out with and gossip with. Not sure what my point is. Just - am I pathetic? Is anyone out there? I'm sure I'm a decent enough person. I've been beating myself up a bit lately for not being good enough.

[madgirlslovesong]

Just hopefully bumping this

[addicted2cake]

Of course you're good enough. A long bank holiday weekend alone is lonely. Try and make arrangements with this women at work to go out the next time you have some time without the children, don't wait for the next work do. You're not pathetic, you realise that others have their own lives but honestly they shouldn't drop you as a friend just because their new fella moves in.
You sound happy in your life generally so I hope that you can arrange something nice for your birthday and for the next time the kids are with their dad.

[SpongeBobJudgeyPants]

Have you tried Mumsnet Local for your area? Maybe someone in the same situation, who would like to meet up.

[madgirlslovesong]

I am pretty happy otherwise, but do feel a bit let down by my friend.

I never quite know how to cement an invitation. So when my colleague vaguely suggests a night out and I agree, I don't know how to make that into something solid.

I haven't tried that, I will do - thanks spongey.

[SpongeBobJudgeyPants]

Find an event that would possibly be of interest to her, ask her if she wants to go. Simples.

[ProfessorPickles]

Hiya OP, I'm in a similar situation and I can sympathise.
I'm currently a student and I'm only in for three days meaning I have four days a week where I feel quite lonely. I see my parents almost every day but it doesn't have the same effect as seeing a friend or having a partner to spend time with.
I recently split with someone that I had a feeling that we'd be together for a long time and that it was going somewhere so my evenings are now really lonely especially as I know he's out having a good time and I can't even leave the house because I have a toddler in bed!

Definitely ask your work friend out, just say "you know we said about having a night out, what do you think to next saturday?"
That sort of thing

[Eustasiavye]

The next time you see your work colleague ask her would straight after work be best for a catch up or is it better for her to go home first, or how about lunch?

Whichever she suggests then make a date for it.

I know if someone, other than a close friend, makes vague suggestions of 'going out ' sometime, somewhere but without any definate times/dates or places, then it most likely will not happen.
On the other hand if someone takes the time to find out when I am free and where I would like to meet up then it usually does happen.

With regards to o l d, you do not have to meet up with the intention of finding the love of your life. Why not speak to someone and if they seem pleasant meet up for a coffee?

The worst that can happen is that you are not compatible, but at least you have hot out for an hour or so and had done company.
Always meet in public and tell someone where you are going.

[Eustasiavye]

Typos done=some
Hot=got x

[madgirlslovesong]

I've done a lot of online dating and have a few dates lined up. It's a nice distraction, but somehow it's not assuaging the loneliness at this point. It's something to do of an evening, afternoon, when I'm free. I just miss real intimacy.

It's hard meeting people and making small talk, when they don't really know you.

I think we'll have some end of term
things at work (it's a school) so there might be a chance then maybe.

[fiveacres]

I too can empathise. I have the children all the time, so that's something. I have no interest in dating so it's just a case of trying to make many friends - I do get lonely in the evenings though,

[madgirlslovesong]

It is v lonely of an evening. I don't think people understand if they're not in that situation.

[fiveacres]

In all honesty, I'm waiting for the good part after LTB!

[Findingme40]

I have a similar situation. I often feel I'm not on the same wavelength as as all my married friends. I took up roller skating with my son and have met lots of lovely people to go out and meet, with and without my son.

[madgirlslovesong]

For me the best part about LTB is that he's not here, but it's definitely not easy.

Roller skating sounds fun.

I do have a single parents' group that organises group outings now and then. That's been nice. But it's no substitute for a good, close friend.