Talk

Flip

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Niece has been stealing from me......again.

5 replies

Fedupfrankie · 30/04/2015 19:49

I can't prove that she has this time but I know in my heart she has.

She is 13 and going through a difficult time at the moment. She is lying about seeing some one who is 16 next month she looked her dm and me straight in the eye and lied about it. She is in trouble at school also.

Today she called round after drama on Tuesday night of fighting with her mum to run away - which she did but her dm found her and at her new 'friends' and took her home. She swore blind to me she has avoided her friend in school.

This afternoon she was upstairs with dd (2years) in my bedroom. I shouted them
Both down . When niece left I went upstairs and noticed an item missing worth around a tenner. It was brand new.

Phoned sil and she told me that she had gotten on to dn facebook and read her messages and she has been going to 'friends' house at 3am in the morning, the messages also proved they were not just friends. They also laughed about the excuses Dn had given.I told her about missing item but to be honest it's the least of her problems.

SIL is at a loss what to do. She is raging at the moment. Dn doesn't know her mum has seen messages as she is barred from it and internet.

I've just had to stop sil from driving round to 'friends' house and to try and calm her self down so she can get a plan together and try and sort this mess out.

So back to my small problem. How to deal with theft. She stole money last year also. She is supposed to be coming here tomoro again and on Saturday I'm supposed to be taking her out for lunch and a wander round town.

I don't want to alienate her as she hasn't got much family but I cant have her stealing from my home. DP was annoyed last time and he will not want her here again.

at a real loss how to help or deal with it

Any advice welcome

OP posts:

Report

magoria · 30/04/2015 19:52

Put lock on your door when she is there and cancel the lunch/town on Saturday. She has had the £10 you would have spent on her then so don't reward her.

Report

Fedupfrankie · 30/04/2015 20:03

There will be no trip to town after this. I dont know how to deal with her if she turns up tomorow. Should I be cross, upset? I Really didn't think she would do it again after last time

OP posts:

Report

tribpot · 30/04/2015 20:11

How on earth is niece getting out of the house without SIL hearing her?

Why is she round at your house so often? Is the stealing at attempt to get attention from her mum?

Whatever the excuse, I think you tell her you know she took the item, you will not be leaving her alone in any room of your house (and enforce this) and the trip to town is cancelled. Stress that you are disappointed rather than angry.

Report

DextersMistress · 30/04/2015 20:17

I would wait for her to turn up tomorrow and calmly say 'Dn give me the you took'
If she denies it give 1 more chance to own up then ask her to leave. Tell her you won't have anyone in your home you don't trust.

I see your point about not wanting to alienate her but she needs to know she can't get away with things like that.

Report

Fedupfrankie · 30/04/2015 20:26

tribpot I don't know. There is no alarm she must be like creeping Jesus.

dexter I'm at that point. The stealing then kissing and hugging me good bye has really hurt