working so much my relationship's being neglected :(

[avocadosarentmiddleclassed]

I have recently handed in my final piece of uni work after and intensely heavy work load training to be a primary school teacher.

I was offered a job by my dream school and started there 2 weeks ago.
The work load is insane, I have been waking at 6:30 coming home from school at 6 then working until half eleven at night and I still have loads that I haven't managed to get done.

It was kind of a dream come true but the reality is that Im always tired, stressed and dreaming about school in my sleep.
My husband is patiently just getting on with jobs around the house as we have just recently moved but I don't even get time to watch a tv show with him at the moment.

Today I got in from work and we had our first blazing shouty, sweary argument in ages, over the fact that it's his daughters birthday tomorrow and I wanted to move lots of the clutter out of the dining room which he objected to so now we're not talking.

I feel like there's nothing left for me at the end of a busy week but putting on a birthday tea for his daughter (which I will have to go food shopping for because he has bought no more than one packet of cocktail sausages, an unripe pineapple and some mini chocolate chip muffins.

I just feel like all the expectation to make it lovely is on me.

Tonight step daughters mother came round and I could hear her, DSD ad DH on the sofa all having a giggle and as usual I just felt like this ghost in the back ground assembling a spiral staircase cake stand that I'd bought for DSD for tomorrow.

It's at times like this that I just want to start a fresh, leave my job, leave all the situations where I am under appreciated and don't feel good enough and just move away.

I was already burnt out when I handed my dissertation in last week and now after 2 weeks of my new job I feel even worse.


Sorry this seems to have turned into a rant I just feels sad and angry.

[geekymommy]

My DH works all the time. We have a toddler and I'm pregnant, so we don't get much time to do anything as a couple, and I don't get much time off from taking care of our toddler. I wish he would say he felt sad and/or angry about that. I would be overjoyed if he said that, even if it wasn't followed by any change in what he's doing. Right now, he doesn't or won't complain about the amount of time he spends working, so I'm left to wonder if it's that way because he wants it to be.

[HopeClearwater]

I'm sorry but when I saw the thread title I thought 'I bet she's a teacher'.

The workload won't change I'm afraid, so if he can't hack it, you will have to choose between the job and him.

[Nanny0gg]

Where is your mentor in all this?

[Cabrinha]

It sounds like your issues predate the start if this job, love.
Always in the background?
He can't be arsed to sort out his own kid's birthday tea?

You urgently need to speak to your mentor.

Give the dream job a chance.

I actually personally thinking working bloody long hours when you're new in many careers is not necessarily a problem. But you have to watch your health.

I suspect there's a whole heap of shit you could tell us about this relationship, and without it the stress of the new job would be more manageable.

[Joysmum]

There's many a teacher in my family and it started out as very long hours then subsided a bit when they got to grips with the job a bit more and could reuse lesson plans etc.

I think it's very worth while having a chat at school to see if you can get help with time management and reassurance.

[avocadosarentmiddleclassed]

Thanks I am only 2 weeks in so maybe it will improve.
It's 3 year groups in 1 class so planning is a big job.
I will give it until July and make up my mind..