AIBU to be totally confused by contact after (sort of) one night stand?!

[RaRaRa1999]

NC for this as totally embarrassed by this situation TBH! And I've literally just realised putting 1999 in my username totally makes me look like a teenaged troll enjoying the holidays but I promise I'm not!

So DH left me in July which totally knocked my confidence - self esteem is at rock bottom, do not believe anyone will ever be interested again etc etc.

However I was out with a group of friends about 8 weeks ago and bumped into a group of lads. Some of them knew each other vaguely but I didnt. Had a great night with them and that was that. Next day one of them who I fancied tracked me down on Facebook and we started messaging several times a week, really good and funny conversations. He didn't ask me out on a date but wanted to arrange for us all to go out as a group again. So we finally arranged this for the weekend just gone. So we met up as a group and had a great time again until it was just us left. He made the first move and went in for a snog. We got more drunk and ended up back at his and did the deed. No way was I planning this but it just happened naturally. The next morning there was no awkwardness at all, still having a real laugh and great chemistry. He dropped me off home giving me a kiss and said I still looked good (I had said I can't believe he's seeing me make up strewn over face and looking rough). He text later that night to ask how I was feeling etc. we had another good text chat with him saying i really made him laugh and he loved my sense of humour.

Taking the fact that he text first after the event as a good sign, I text first the next day which was Saturday just a quick hi how are you. Got a quick one back which I replied to but that was it. Really wanted to leave it but temptation got the better of me and I text yesterday afternoon just asking if his mates had a good time with us. I've heard nothing! In our 8 weeks of messaging previously it wouldn't have been left that long so I'm pretty gutted to think that's the end of that!

My mind is doing overtime thinking what if he didn't get my text, what if he's text and it hasn't reached me, why did he bother texting me after the night if he wasn't interested?!

So as I never thought I'd be back on the dating circuit and things may well of changed since 10 years ago since I last had to go through all this - AIBU to be shocked that he has ignored me as he really seemed keen or have a missed something obvious?!

[SpringBreaker]

his phone could have been cut off, anything could have happened.. try messaging him on facebook maybe?

[ahbollocks]

Just leave it, he sounds like a singlr lad enjoying himself, I really dont mean to be rude but he probably meets girls every few weeks So is maybe dating someone new.
if he really likes you he'll find a way to track you down

[Yournotfeckingserious]

Just leave it, he knows how to get hold of you.
Please don't text or message as he will think your being clingy and stalkerish.
What will be will be.

[queentroutoftrouts]

I would ask for this to be moved to relationships, you will get some good advice on there.

[WhatismyLife]

Aw that's a bit shit op but there's a million reasons why he hasn't text you. Left his phone at work or lost it ect. So I agree with everyone else, just leave it for now. If he wants to get in contact, he'll find a way.

[RaRaRa1999]

Thanks guys will try and get it moved

[Sickoffrozen]

Unfortunately this is the dating world nowadays! Fellas have more choice than they know what to do with! (As do women)

[MadamG]

I think it'd be reasonable to text back, just the once. If no more replies the leave it. But agree with others sadly, if he wanted to get in touch he would find a way.

[Quitelikely]

I wouldn't text back. Just don't do it. Save your dignity. I'm sure you will see him out again.

I think his other texts were just him being polite and making sure things were going to be ok should you ever see each other out again.

[Caoimhe1922]

I'd leave it. Over texting may seem a sign of desperation. If he contacts you, then take it from there.
If he doesn't contact you then he isn't the guy to light up your life.

[ifeeltheneedtheneedforspeed]

Do you know what his relationship status is? Is he single too or is there a possibility theres a recent ex that he may have got back with? I would leave it until end of week and follow up with one last text to see if he wants to go out as a group again (less pressure if its a grou)- if no reply then sadly you have your answer. Pretty shit if he just cuts you off though without a hint of why, not nice at all.

[Gardav]

I made a right idiot of myself in a similar situation. Met a girl, got on really well. Kiss on the first date, a quick second date, out for a third date and things got intimate. Had a busy couple of weeks, skiing, work etc but texted each other at least once every couple of days. Work and skiing finished and we had a date, texted her to confirm and she cried off as she wasn’t feeling well. Was a bit disappointed but not particularly stressed about it. Texted a couple of days later, no reply. Waited a couple of days, no reply. I had a weekend away skiing and still no reply then decided that she wasn’t interested. I was a bit gutted but didn’t want to come across as a creepy stalker so I left it.

About a month later I decided one last text to just check. Turned out her phone had been out of action for a week after she wasn’t well and she’d assumed that I was sulking because she missed the date. Met up, apologised to each other profusely and now I just regret the missing month.

I put an overly negative interpretation on a couple of missing texts and reading your story found myself doing the same thing again. Trouble is, I have a Y chromosome and hanging out with other similar Y chromosomes, I fear the worst.

Dear sickoffrozen, there may be lots of choice but it goes both ways.

[RaRaRa1999]

He is definitely single - split up with someone around the same time as me last year. In one way I really want to text so I know 100% for sure as the doubts in my head about texts being lost in cyber space are driving me mad. But on the other hand I feel bad enough not hearing now, I'll feel loads worse if I don't hear a 2nd time.

Maybe it's too soon after my split to be dealing with these situations. As this has really got to me and knocked my confidence which is ridiculous over someone I barely know!

Gardav did it work out with the girl in the end? And so are you saying you fear this bloke isn't interested? Got a bit confused! Good to get a male opinion

[Charley50]

I'd leave it.

[Islanegra]

The best thing to do would be to leave it. However what I would do is obsess endlessly, discuss with my mates individually to dissect each message, and then finally dig out my tarot cards.

Might look up his house on Google Earth too. My shame knows no depths.

[Islanegra]

And then Id get pissed and text him.

[Charley50]

If he's lost his phone or something, when it gets fixed he'll get back to you. It's sounds like you did get on.

[Charley50]

Isla negra

[RaRaRa1999]

Ha ha ha Isla that cracked me up!!

[Fairenuff]

Text him 'Fancy a shag?'

I bet he replies to that.

[Islanegra]

Or even "me and my mate fancy a shag"

Guaranteed result

[WineIsFineAtNine]

IslaNegra I think we are the same person

[Islanegra]

Im always in deep admiration for those who can "just leave it." I've deleted bloke's numbers and then cried to the phone people for an early copy of my bill just so I can call them again! And in a very dark time with a bloke I adored who was messing me about AND Id just been dumped by someone else, I took my phone SIM card and wrapped it in cling film and froze it, on the basis that by the time it's thawed the urge would have gone off me.

And I know I'm not in any way alone in these maladaptivisms!

[WineIsFineAtNine]

IslaNegra- I've had numerous tarot readings, asked a Wiccan witch to do a love spell for me, drunk contacted their friends so I can get their number (after deleting it), coincidentally turned up at events they're likely to attend and befriended their friends. Drunk texting is the usual behaviour.

[Islanegra]

Oh god the spells!

Titania's Oracle?