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Change

6 replies

entre · 27/03/2015 11:45

Hi there. some opinions if you don't mind?

I have read a lot on these forums about people wanting to change their partners in order for their relationships to improve. Among the posts the overwhelming advice given out seems to be "you can never change him / her."

I have also seen lots of people stating "I've changed so much"

Is this just indicative of the general bias on here or can only certain people for example , change.

Personally I think that everyone has the capability to change / improve themselves. Some people may have to work harder than others to bring about change or require an almost life changing event in order to realise that change is necessary, but I get the feeling that within this "community" the census is that people don't change.

What would you say?

OP posts:

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cailindana · 27/03/2015 11:55

I would say that you can, definitely change yourself but you absolutely cannot change someone else.

A person has to truly recognise for themselves what needs to change and go about putting in the work to do that in order for anything meaningful to happen. Trying to get another person to see where they're going wrong and trying to push them to change is completely pointless.

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SensationalGirl · 27/03/2015 12:01

I say yes, people can absolutely change if THEY want to. Changing someone else for the better would require insight, patience and advanced knowledge of the human mind. Not something people who post here have or they'd be all I changed my dh for the better and here's how.

It is much easier to change yourself or learn to bring out the best traits others may already have.

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SensationalGirl · 27/03/2015 12:02

Oh but it is absolutely possible to change someone for the worse. But that's abuse.

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spoonjarjarspoonjar · 27/03/2015 12:38

I've known a few people who've changed fairly dramatically, in these cases it was for the best.

I think we are all born with strong overriding traits that it is impossible to ever be completely rid of. However I think with conscious effort a person can change for the better, if they are properly motivated.

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Quitelikely · 27/03/2015 12:41

Nobody here says you can't change yourself. I've never seen it once.

They say you can't change somebody else.