Birthday Blues

[darksideofthemooncup]

So, it's my birthday on Saturday, DH has been saying for a few weeks about booking a hotel for the night, Spa day for me whilst he plays golf (at the club he is a member of so not ridiculously expensive) It hadn't been booked up until yesterday and I was really happy that he had finally done it. However, on speaking about it to a work colleague today I discovered that he had absolutely no intention of booking it and only did so on the urging of our colleague (we work together) as they knew how disappointed I would have been.
It has rather taken the shine off it to be honest.
Also, do I say anything and cause a row or keep my mouth shut and try and enjoy it?
I don't mean to sound spoilt but he is always off on golf trips, leaves everything house and child related solely to me and this seems like just another example of how little I must mean to him.

[ChipDip]

Oh that's so disappointing to hear especially when I'm sure he would then try to come off like the most caring husband when you know the truth. I think that just try to make the most of it. It's booked now and bringing it up he might just try to make out as if you got the wrong strong. Is he always like this?

[ineedabodytransplant]

Why did your colleague have to say anything, wouldn't keeping quiet have been friendlier? I wouldn't have been impressed to be told I wasn't going to get a treat without someone else pushing my OH. What did your colleague hope to gain?

Seems there are more problems in your relationship than getting a Spa day, even prompted by someone else.

[yougotafriend]

My exH booked a hotel & spa weekend for me & my DSil for her 40th bday - we were delighted....2 nights friday & saturday.... then in the saturday afternoon he texts to say him & her H have booked an extra room and will come & join us (gutted!!) they turned up pissed having spent the afternoon in the pub watching footy and we had to pretend to be pleased to see them.....

Then as we are checking out he realises he's forgotten his credit card so can I pay?? WTF?? Then was annoyed that I wasn't they most grateful DW ever!!! I cant even remember if I ever got the money back (it was a long time ago).

I'd say try to enjoy it - he just might not have realised how much you were looking forward to it, but as soon as that was pointed out to him, he booked it.

[myown2feetaregreat]

So in reality, you only have a spa treat thanks to your colleague as Dh had no intention of booking until prompted. You are right to feel hurt, he sounds extremely selfish imo

[darksideofthemooncup]

I did think it was odd of my colleague to tell me, and not an especially nice thing to do.
My dh isn't the most thoughtful of people no, which is why when I thought he had got of his arse to do something for me, unprompted by me, I was delighted.
I just wanted to moan I suppose, I think I am feeling sorry for myself because I am getting older and my birthday is LOOMING

[blueberrypie0112]

Weird.

Maybe this person just want to take all the credits. I would ignore and enjoy it. Afterall, your husband decided he didn't want to disappoint you when someone mentioned it.

[DonkeysDontRideBicycles]

Sorry not sure if I'm reading this correctly - DH had dangled this treat in front of you weeks' ago but actually only got round to booking it yesterday on your colleague's urging?

I initially thought shame the colleague spoke up and appears to be taking the credit but if DH rarely pitches in and does take you for granted then one bit of effort for 24 hours and a blank for the other 364 days of the year doesn't sound like hero material to me.

[Jan45]

He sounds awful, sorry it's so bad.