Sorry if this is really jumbled. Really confused and a bit bewildered at the moment.
Just had a bit of an argument with DH after he laughed about me not knowing what a button on a mouse does. I admit I did blow up a bit. Said I don't bloody care what the buttons on the mouse do apart from the left and right click, why is it funny, you are always laughing in this really scathing way whenever I don't know something technical or that YOU think is obvious and just, basically, cut it out, it's shitty.
He then blew up in response, said I need to get better self esteem, of course he is not laughing at me, I keep misinterpreting his words or putting words in his mouth and he wouldn't do that. And that I keep criticising everything he does at the moment. I asked what is funny about it, then, if he's not laughing because it's hilarious how stupid I am. Apparently he laughs when he thinks it is "cute" OK, maybe fair, but I still feel that he often uses a scathing "WOW, that's so OBVIOUS, how do you not know THAT" kind of tone of voice when he notices something "cute" but as I was trying to explain that, he cut across me with a massive rant about how he feels like I criticise everything he does and he can't do anything right. And then stormed off to the bedroom. I tried to talk to him about half an hour ago but he was asleep. He has since woken up, used the toilet and gone back again. I don't think he's sulking particularly but it's clear he wants space so I will leave him again.
I'm just kind of baffled and confused now about what is actually happening. I'm sure there are other things behind it - he mentioned that I've told him he's not allowed to get mad at me if I don't stick to promises on household stuff. I am a bit (a lot) crap domestically - cleaning etc. That's an ongoing thing since forever, part of who I am, not an exaggeration/me or anyone else putting myself down, I am lazy, disorganised and quite happy to live in a pigsty. I do make an effort for DH and DS but a lot of the time I do just forget or overlook perfectly simple stuff. I do try to negate this - I have a chart to look at to remind me, have tried various reminder techniques etc, but it slips my mind even so. I know this is really bloody frustrating to live with but I am trying my hardest.
I have never ever felt like I wasn't "allowed" to discuss something with him before like he made me feel today. I don't walk on eggshells and we talk things out usually. We respect each other.
I think that I can be a bit overly negative, I'm more likely to comment if something is wrong rather than if it is right but I did not feel like I was getting on him for every little thing. Maybe I could have brought up the "feeling laughed at" thing differently, but I don't think I was wrong to bring it up.
Argh. I guess I'll try and talk to him when DS is in bed, but I suspect a big reason of why he's feeling hurt is because I don't really get what he is talking about, so I'm sure it's going to kick off a big argument when we do talk about it. I just don't really know where to start I suppose?
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Relationships
I don't really understand why we are arguing and I don't know what to do from there.
BertieBotts · 28/02/2015 16:54
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