Especially interested if you have young children (bonus points if Dp is not their father).
Just wanting to get some perspective. I have been with DP a year, I have a 2 year old. I spend most days seething with resentment (only a slight exaggeration). DP stays in bed well into the afternoon when he is not at work (he is working through an agency at the moment so lots of temporary jobs) and goes out every night to his friend's house, often coming home stoned in the early hours. Meanwhile I'm getting up with DD on my own, taking care of the house, going to work in the afternoon, and coming home to an empty house.
I don't expect him to do anything for my daughter, and they get along well. He's not always out all night, sometimes he will come home so we can eat together. We rarely go out together, we rarely have sex (I have been guilty of making quite a big deal of the latter; he says he "can't he arsed.") He will do small bits of housework if I ask him to, such as the vacuuming or dishes, but feels he shouldnt have to clean up after me and DD. Generally refuses to touch the washing, doesnt dust, has never cleaned the bathroom.
When he is working he will eat and go straight to bed, understandably. At the weekend he generally stays in bed late, gets up to eat, sometimes we'll go shopping or something. Then he goes back to bed for a few hours, while I feed DD and get her bathed and to bed, then he'll quite often get up and go out.
I don't want to ask him to stop seeing his friends and I know my daughter isn't his problem, and obviously I can't go out every night because of DD. But sometimes I feel like he avoids me! He insists that he loves me, and I love him but there seems to be very little in this relationship for me. But will this be the case in any relationship I have, because of my DD? Because I still won't be able to go out all night, or stay in bed all day, and I'll always have to keep the house clean and the washing done and food on the table for her sake anyway, whether any potential partner helps out or not.
Is this just normal in a relationship of this kind? Or am I right to feel this way?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
What is your relationship like day-to-day?
catlady1 · 27/02/2015 22:44
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.