Before you became a parent did you ever date someone with kids?

[Arsenal123]

I was just wondering about the impact of finding a partner without children and the practicalities and problems that may arise?

[Anacoreta]

Yes, I did.

If you are the one with ghe kids, I would even suggest yo focus on people that have their own kids. They are normally more understanding of the responsibilities you face and are also better at understanding when your children are tired or frustrated.

[Maroonie]

My partner has a child, I have none.
I think it could have been harder if we both had kids as its an even bigger change to family dynamics.
And you have to balance the needs of even more people.
Either way both have to be very understanding of the others needs.

[Surfboredcat]

Yes I did and I found it didn't work for me at that point in my life.
I'm now a single parent and would only date someone with children because they have more understanding of your circumstances. It's quite difficult not being able to do things spontaneously or go away for the weekend etc.
I can't even have someone to stay over or go to theirs as ex isn't really on the scene.
These are also the complications that put me off when I didn't have DC.

[albal14]

Not a father , but understand the difficulties, don't pigeon hole us.

[YellowTangerine]

Yes I did and I loved his DD just as much as I love my own DD. It was hard at first because I was only 21 and didn't really understand the responsibility of having a child. One of the best things I ever did though.

[quietpurple]

I dated a few men with kids before I had my own child, but it was fairly casual dating when I was younger, and I never had any contact with the kids or any expectation that it would go beyond a fling.

I had my DS as a single mum and dated a variety of men, most of whom didn't have kids. Most of them were just casual relationships, so it didn't matter about them being understanding or their expectations for the future. Then I met my current DH who I decided was worth settling down for, he doesn't have kids but he's always done his best to be understanding (though I think with any adult without their own dc, they can never really imagine how difficult it can be just to be spontaneous etc and you have to explain it).

I wouldn't have sought out a long term partner who already had kids though, because then you have the extra complications of blending 2 families, splitting family costs, dealing with exes etc. I don't think I'd be a great stepmum especially if it was for access weekends only and the mum was the main carer. In our family DH has taken on stepdad role without too many issues and my ex isn't on the scene, so we're more like a traditional stepfamily.

[Bluetonic123]

I am not a parent and have no desire to be one. I always said I’d never date anyone with children. Then I fell in love with someone that did.

I haven’t found it difficult at all.