advice needed

[amuk27]

Hi I need some advice I was in a relationship with a women for 6 yrs we spent 5 yrs trying for me to get pregnant as she coundnt conceive. Well I did catch pregnant and everything was fine between us just the odd niggle like I didnt buy any baby stuff as she, d brought it but I just thought she was being thoughtful as I worked full time.anyway it was great till I put her name on my daughters birth certificate and then she turned awful, she would do anything ignored my baby tugging at her leg everything.i tried for a year try to make it work woundering if I didnt include her enough and stuff but she didnt want go know.till I left with my daughter now she does want to know.my daughter that is.i feel very used and angry and have to let my daughter go to her everyother weekend.im stuck my daughter asks for my ex sometimes and I try my hardest not to make my daughter know how I feel but im concered that my ex plays deep head games and that will be put onto my dauhter also and I carnt save her.am I wrong for feeling this way should I just see this as a normal split family cause it sure dont feel that please help with advice thanks

[Mummysboy2014]

Don't allow her to control the situation here. She pushed your daughter away she can't play happy families when she feels like it. It's not right to pick and choose at the end of the day she's your daughter and you must do what u believe is right for her. Don't allow urself to get dragged in by ur ex playing games.

[amuk27]

Thank you for your advice its really needed here I control as much as I can but I carnt stop contact as she's on birth certificate. My daughter is soon going to be 3yrs old, she already has started the games example I got my daughter a dolls house for christmas she got her a bigger one,things like that.I just hope my daughter turns out ok after this mess, this wasnt my plan for my daughter at all.i do control what I can at the moment.

[KateSMumsnet]

Hullo amuk27 - we're just going to move this to a more appropriate board for you.

[Cabrinha]

It is a normal family break up situation, so treat it the same way you would if you suspected her divorced father of being abusive: go and see a solicitor.
Preferably one that has experience with same sex couples.

What does tugging at her leg mean? If her other parent is physically abusive, tell your solicitor.
Mind games - document it all and again, speak to your solicitor.

Remember that your daughter has a right to see both parents - but the parents do not have the right to see her. If your ex isn't fit for contact, get to court and prove it.

But things like buying a bigger dolls house - I doubt you'll get anywhere with that, so on that I'll just reassure you that it won't matter. At a young age, kids don't notice. When they're older, they can't be bought.

[Mummysboy2014]

Awe it's not a nice situation ur in just remember ur not the bad parent here, just think when ur daughter gets older she will realise herself the type of person ur ex is and how she's behaves is not fair on u or ur child. Just remember it's not about buying ur daughter it's about love and that comes for free from the heart.


Seems she's just being petty just let her know her actions don't bother u and I know they probably do but don't allow ur ex to see she has this affect on u.

[amuk27]

Thank you for helping me.i mean tugging at her leg for attention when we was together she completly didnt want to know my daughter after the birth certificate was done,before I thought things were fine.i feel like ive signed my daughter to this awful person with a definate split personality. I am going to get legal advice on this.Thank you for advice im very stuck with all this.