Shit I need some help

[Tryingtobehappy]

I feel so desperate, panicky and alone and don't think I can go through this.

I moved out of my DP's house just before Xmas and after a lot of talking, coming and going, decided this week not to go any further with the relationship. We were just not getting on (blended family and other stuff) and felt there was no way back, even tho the love and attraction is there.

And that's just it..how the hell do I get over it. I couldn't even drag myself out of bed this morning, crying and not want to eat. We have gone no contact, he tried to phone me a few days ago but I didn't pick up. I felt what is the point if we are not together anymore. Now I am devastated as he isn't calling now and I want him too ( but I don't...how messed up is that).

I am obsessed with the thought that he is getting over me and will get someone else quickly. Thinking what he is doing and if he is thinking of me. I hate this awful feeling...my hands and arms go all numb and think I may faint. I've been to the docs and he's given me antidepressants to start taking which I have.

Anyone out there going through the same thing or can help me please.? I feel like I can't cope.

[Flimflammer]

I felt exactly the same as you when I moved out from my ex, and I was100% sure that I had done the right thing. Its not just the end of the relationship, its the loss of your old routines which makes you feel lost. It is perfectly normal, you just need time to adjust.

My advice is keep busy. Do some exercise. Swimming is great, you don't have to wear yourself out but the activity of going out and doing something will lift your mood. Can you do some decorating? Set yourself a target of a certain number of activities, realistically achievable, do that you can see for yourself that you've achieved something every day.

It will pass and you will feel better. It sounds like you tried everything and had come to the end of the road as far as living together goes. Is there any possibility of being together but living apart, if you do still love each other?

[Tryingtobehappy]

I was afraid that once I had moved out that there would be no going back and my wall would go up..and yes it did, even though I didn't want it to. I kept talking myself in and out. It felt so natural to be with him tho..habit? I don't know. But I know how awful I feel now and wish I could escape it.

[Quitelikely]

Breaking up is hard to do. Time is the only healer and anti depressants are a decent way to numb the pain.

It is entirely normal to love someone whilst admitting that being with them in a relationship does not work. Love does not conquer all, as they like to say.

Relationships are based on love, trust and respect - all mutual.

I suspect some if these things were lacking on either side and that's why things broke down. It's hard to have a relationship without them.

Throwing dc into the mix adds further complications but as parents we have an extra responsibility towards them, making sure the relationships we model to them are positive and encase all the above things. I'm guessing yours didn't right?

Then you have to accept you made the right choice for all concerned. You have to accept that in time you will both move on with other people.

It's just what happens.