Hi, I can't find the thread from early in January where those who had decided this was the new year, new start had posted, and were looking to support each other.
I haven't changed my mind, I have been in a very unhappy and dysfunctional relationship for years but am being subjected to a lot of emotional blackmail from dh. He has been trying hard to change after we split for 3 months last year and give him credit where it's due, he really has. However, I have come to acknowledge that it's just not enough. He did way too much damage in the years before of treating me badly and I can't do it anymore, I just don't love him enough. I've had counselling, I'm on anti-depressants and my hair is falling out with stress and anxiety.
He thinks that I am rushing the decision and making a mistake, when actually, despite feeling gutted for our children, and worrying about the practical matters, I feel an inner calm of knowing that for me at least, this is the right thing to do. He however, is keeping me up night after night crying, pleading, and making a very strong case for why I am being unfair when he has started to change. I am at heart a nice person, probably too nice, which is why I've put up with it for years 'to keep everyone else happy, keep the family together'. BUT I JUST CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE!!! I don't want him to kiss me, touch me, I know in my heart its over.
How do I get through this? I will be gutted with myself if I cave in. I do love him but not in the right way. I've always looked after him, emotionally, practically, everything, he will be like a lost soul, but I do know he is a grown man.
He is a nice guy, just too much gone on, we've grown up differently. I want more from life than this half life but can't bear to see him so devastated.
Not sure what advice I'm after really, but feel better already for getting it off my chest x
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Relationships
Sticking to my decision, anyone else?
16 replies
everonwardsagain · 21/01/2015 10:00
OP posts:
Deckthehallswithdesperation ·
21/01/2015 10:52
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