H & I are in the process of separating - he will hopefully be moving out early in the new year.
He has been EA over the course of our almost 15 year marriage, although I've only realised this in the last couple of years.
He suddenly had an epiphany in late September, declaring that the reason he's never been happy is due to him missing a 'spark' that he had with an ex-GF years ago.
Of course it's transpired since then that he thinks he's found this 'spark' with someone new. He is absolutely following the script that millions of men before him have followed.
I feel a lot of relief that he will be out of our house soon - the atmosphere is terrible at the moment as he clearly wants to be somewhere else, but he hasn't had the balls to actually pull the trigger & move out because of the DC (7 & 3). It's now pretty much unlivable for all of us & he accepts that he needs to go.
However he's now started with the stupid comments about how he 'knows how I will act' that I'll try & turn friends & family against him, try to ruin his new relationship etc etc. This attitude pisses me off as I've been extremely rational & level-headed up to now (and he's done some pretty awful things) as I want this to be a positive thing for the DC, and not something else that we fuck up for them.
So...he wants the DC 50% of the time, but we've agreed to keep it to weekends only for the first month or so until he sorts furniture etc in his new place & gets it a bit more homely.
He's now started saying he can only have the DC at my house for the first few weekends he has them as he wants to spend his free weekends with his new GF & his mates so he won't have time to sort anything for the DC to stay round when he has them.
When I object to this (I just don't want him in my space anymore, have nowhere to go overnight etc when he comes round) he starts sneering again, telling me I'd being a vindictive bitch and this is why he can't live with me but has known how I'll make his life etc etc
Am I being unreasonable? From my POV if I was moving out & away from the DC the first thing I'd want to do it make the new place homely for them & show them how much it was their home too.
Sorry for the long OP, I just wanted to give a bit (!!) of back story so as not to drip feed later.
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Relationships
AIBU re STBX having the DC?
HavingAnOffDAy · 29/12/2014 13:01
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