DH told me in May he wasn't happy, and in July that he wanted to split up (not for the first time ). However, for the first time, I took him at his word and saw a solicitor instead of begging him to change his mind. He had been telling me I would walk away with nothing, that he would kick me out of the house etc.
Solicitor filed a matrimonial home rights notice, DH took this very badly and threatened me physically. We had a very bad couple of weeks.
Since then he has changed his mind about separating (... again), I am once more the love of his life, he doesn't want to be the kind of man who treats me this way, I provoked him but that doesn't excuse his behaviour..... You have all heard this story arc before, as have I.
However. We live with two children, one of whom is his from a previous relationship. I have known DSC (9) since they were one, been a key carer since they were 3, DSC has lived with me as a SAHM since they were 4. Other child (OC) is 5, same sex as DSC, they have a fab relationship, living with DSC is all OC has ever known.
H has been very clear that if I leave the marriage he will take DSC and leave for good. He will not maintain contact with OC, he will not allow any contact between DSC/OC. I have no legal right to stop this happening. I love DSC, DSC loves OC, the whole thing is a total mess.
He has given me two weeks from today to make my choice and I feel like I'm stuck in glue. He is a bully but day-to-day life is good for the kids and okay for me (although interspersed with patches of horrific). Without kids in the picture I would leave tomorrow, but they are in the picture and I can't seem to find it in myself to deprive OC of DSC as well as DH.
What do I do? What can I do?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
When separating would mean splitting up the children... I can't find a way forward.
ImaFrayedKnot · 27/12/2014 20:24
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