Dd is 13 (also have dd2 who is 11)
I was with their dad for 13 years, split up when dd1 was 8
It took me years to recognise I was being emotionally and sexually abused and took me years to get out of it -but I remember well being unable to relax in my own home and feeling like i'm walking on eggshells, always putting myself on the bottom of the pile
Well it's all happening again, only this time with dd1
Today we are supposed to be seeing family, she doesn't want to go and I've woken up with a massive knot in my stomach, worrying about what will happen -her dad only visited my parents 4 times in all the time we were together, he would be 'ill' or cause a row to avoid it
Yesterday was a write off, apparently I got her nothing she wanted -I obviously don't even know her her dad used to say this or similar
Food is an ongoing battle, her dad constantly used to criticise my coking, telling anyone that would listen that I was trying to poison him
I'm really struggling to separate normal teenage behaviour and worrying behaviour
I've spoken to school who say she's a model pupil but I finally got a learning mentor to speak to her and she said she's incredibly defensive and has obviously got a lot of issues relating to her dad
Dd has been offered counselling but refused it
People tell me to just get her told, make her get in the car etc etc but that's not even close to being possible
It hurts me to see her so unhappy and that I can't help her but there is this fear that she is so much like her dad and she's not choosing a different path -she says she's who she is, can't help it and it's not her fault if it upsets people, they should just man up
I can't go on like this, i'm so tired of it all, it's got to change but I don't have the option of leaving this relationship -I love her to bits but this hurts
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Relationships
I feel like i'm back in an abusive relationship only this time with my daughter
95 replies
18yearstooold · 26/12/2014 08:03
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2fedup ·
26/12/2014 08:32
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