I recently found out that my DP has been texting another woman. To give you the background:
We had been going through a distant patch for a few months. I know I was struggling with the relationship for a number of reasons and as a result I pushed him away. I didn't want to have sex, didn't really want to spend much time with him, found fault with him all the time. I prioritised going out with work friends over him, and yes, didn't always behave 100% appropriately (flirting). A lot of resentment built up on both sides and it became really hard to talk about 'us' and I did feel like our relationship was becoming vulnerable to attention from the opposite sex.
We recently went out for his birthday and something he said whilst drunk put me on alert. I took his phone to look through it while he was asleep. There was nothing on it, but when he woke up I asked him if he was seeing someone else. He looked really shifty, couldn't look me in the eye, and said no but he had been texting someone for a few weeks, but had knocked it on the head when she wanted to meet up. He was pretty defensive and I had a gut feeling he wasn't telling me the truth, but I don't know, we were both hungover and he was put on the spot.
I ended it on the spot, but then needed to get some answers so got back in touch. I said I just needed him to tell me the truth, I didn't care if it hurt me more, I just wanted to know. He was quite adamant he had told me the truth. We have been talking since. He isn't being defensive anymore and seems to be answering all my questions openly. He said it was an ego boost at a time he felt very distant from me. He didn't tell me because he knew she was interested in him and that made it wrong. He maintains he did not meet up with her and the texting ended once she wanted to meet him as he told her he couldn't because he had a girlfriend. There is nothing on his phone to back this up either way - not even her phone number.
So here we are. We have talked a lot and I feel like the underlying resentment has been cleared now. I just don't know if I'm being a mug believing him. I do feel like perhaps we were both behaving selfishly/inappropriately at the time but it's hard to know he engaged in and concealed something from me for weeks.
Any advice anyone?
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Relationships
Partner Texting
Wonderinglady · 18/12/2014 10:19
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