I have posted before about a male friend of mine. I really like him and I wasn’t sure if he liked me or not. He seemed to like me – flirty with me, suggestive comments, made excuses to come and see me, tactile and stands really close to me etc., but he hadn’t made a move on me so I wasn’t sure. Anyway after a while I think he did make a pass at me, but it was a bit clumsy and took me by surprise and I ended up taking it as him joking about. It didn’t register with me until afterwards that he probably made a pass at me.
Fast forward a good few months and I am still mightily confused! He’s still exactly the same with me and I’ve been a lot more flirty with him so he can’t be in any doubt now that I like him. A couple of months ago we were having a bit of banter about him taking me to bed. He was joking about whether my neighbours might hear and I said ‘I’d be noisy would I?’ He said ‘I don’t know’ followed by a pause and then ‘yet!’ We then looked at each and smiled. Sort of a well that’s going to happen at some point then look. The conversation continued with a bit more banter along those lines and I got a slap on the bum and a cheeky grin when he left. I was walking on air for a bit thinking he does like me and we’re going to get together at some point.
That was two months and still nothing has happened. He came round last week and we were sitting together extremely closely on my sofa. We were talking about alcohol and he remarked that it makes him ‘rampant’. He elaborated and said that it’s like an aphrodisiac for him. My sense of humour being like it is I said ‘oh do you fancy a drink’. He said no, the conversation continued along those lines and I said ‘are you sure you don’t want a drink, I’ve got a bottle of wine in the fridge’. He said ‘I’m tempted’ but declined. Not sure if the conversation was about the wine or not. We continued chatting and he said something suggestive to me, I can’t remember what it was, and I said ‘you shouldn’t say things like that, you’ve already got me wound up’. He clarified if I meant wound up or excited, I said excited. The sexual tension between us was obvious, but nothing happened.
He did take a call from a man who he was supposed to have rung that evening and he said he would ring him when he got back, so I did wonder if that may have been the reason. But, the man rang him soon after he was round mine and he was at mine for about an hour and a half so I don’t think it was that. He could also have said I can’t tonight, but another time or something.
So I’m thinking that for whatever reason he’s not interested in developing things any further between us and wants to stay just friends. But when he was about to leave he asked me what my shower pressure was like (that’s not a weird question coming from him). I showed him and he said ‘I’ll enjoy having a shower in there’. Then when I was showing him out he said to text him when I’d got the stuff done that we’d been looking at that evening and he’d come round and pick it up. I said fine and he said in an extremely sexual way that he has ‘make sure you’re ready’.
I was outside with him a few days after that, at the weekend, and he put his hands on the tops of my arms/shoulder area and moved me right to him. He then pointed out there was a dove in the tree. He could have just said there’s a dove in the tree, it just came over as a reason to get physically close to me. He then said that the tree still had leaves on it so he would be camouflaged if he was naked in the tree watching me. He didn’t mean that in a pervy way, it’s just his sense of humour.
So basically I am totally confused. He had a perfect chance last week with me and declined so I thought he doesn’t want to. So why is he still making comments and acting for all the world like he is interested. He’s not shy at all, he definitely knows I like him. I don’t know if he just likes the banter/attention, doesn’t want a relationship, just playing me.
I suppose what I am asking is if he’s not interested then why he is acting interested in every other way? Any thoughts would be appreciated as it’s doing my head in now.
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Relationships
Confused - if he's not interested why does he act it?
tinks4 · 11/12/2014 15:39
Sounds like a bloody carry on in every sense of the word! 
just drop the innuendo and ask him out for a drink, or round for a meal or something adults do...
You both really need to have that first kiss; then you'll be at it for weeks.
He sounds scared to make a first move, so next time he comes round I think you should jump on him for a snog. 
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I too had a very flirty guy who suggested meals out etc but they never materialized. He's make a beeline for me every time I saw him and was very attentive. I was interested in him and was puzzled as to why it just never got off the ground, this went on for about a year until one day his girlfriend appeared by his side. Funny, he avoided my stunned gaze that night. 
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