I am currently a sahm on maternity leave and I have to go away for a couple of weeks for medical treatment and I will be leaving my dh to care for the dc (including baby). I originally thought my dm or Dsis could come and help him look after them but he is not keen and doesn't seem to understand why I'm worried that he won't cope.
He would have to look after the baby 6 months old full time, as well as the 3 year old (who is in nursery only part time). 6 year old is at school.
I am one of those sahm who tend to do most things (very bad habit to start). I do all the early mornings, which tend to start at 5am. And I do the morning routines, school run alone, he's never done it. He does pull his weight more with the cleaning, cooking and grocery shopping, but these tend to be done on his terms when he chooses to do so. For example cooking something will take his fancy, so he will go buy the ingredients and cook it and then refrigerate/freeze it for us to have later. I tend to do the regular cooking and ensure food is on the table at the usual meal times each day. Same as with cleaning, he will just decide the floors need mopping and do the whole house, whereas I just do the usual tidy up/ clean as we go on an everyday basis.
He is not one for routines and keeps quite anti social hours. Often going to bed at 3-4 in the morning, although he does look after the dc if they wake at night. (The reason he can keep these hours is because he is self employed and works from home or cafés/libraries when he needs to get away from the family noise). The other reason he keeps these hours is because he does have insomnia and finds it difficult to fall asleep, which is another reason why I do all the early mornings.
I need to insist on a trial run before I go, and he's agreed to it in theory but I honesty don't think he will get around to it. And I will just keep doing it up until the day I need to leave (I can't delay the treatment). I don't want to leave my children in the situation with an over tired, ill prepared parent, it seems like a terrible risk to take for their sakes, but how can I make him realise all that I do on a daily basis, including how difficult the early mornings can be.
Please don't be harsh with me, I know I have created this situation, but I need some help to make him understand.
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Relationships
How can I help him understand the role of a sahm?
PearlsMom · 25/10/2014 22:53
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