I have a date and I'm terrified!

[ProfessorPickles]

I wish I wasn't so nervous
The date is next Friday and I'm scared already!

He seems lovely and I'm worried my nerves will ruin it, I'm going to buy a new outfit though, have my hair cut and go for a few runs the days before in the hope to boost my confidence!

My main worry is that he's really into fitness and I'm a bit overweight and flabby since having my DS.
But I suppose if he doesn't like me because of that I shouldn't care!!

Any first date stories or tips would be good!! Preferably positive ones

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

Don't do the 'pick me dance' ... :) Be yourself, flab and all, and enjoy the company. He might be a complete arse, he could be a new friend or he could be the love of your life. You're the one judging him.... so set the bar high and I hope it's fun.

[ProfessorPickles]

I'm too shy for the pick me dance
It's a good point that I'm judging him too, it really does feel like I'm off for a bloody interview or something daft like it's all on me!
He's driving a fair way to come meet me so I feel quite happy that he's keen.

It's the first time I've met anyone from online dating, infact I've never been taken on a proper date before!

[ProfessorPickles]

Thank you cogito

[PenelopeGarciasCrazyHair]

I remember feeling absolutely sick before my first date (a few months after leaving XH of 14 years).

I had been messaging a guy online and he suggested meeting for coffee that lunch time. I said I wasn't ready to actually meet anyone, then thought "hang on, what am I doing this for if I don't actually leave the house and talk to someone in person?!" so I agreed and went within a couple of hours, so at least not too much time to get nervous!

I treated it a bit like a job interview, not expecting big love, I was going to impress, but also to just be myself and to see if he impressed me. As it turned out, he was keener than I was, said I'd restored his faith in OD as I was attractive and 'normal' (big compliment in the OD world ) and gave my confidence a big boost.

A few dates with other guys settled my nerves, but when I met DP apparently my hands were shaking and I looked like a rabbit in the headlights. Within 10 minutes we were chatting and joking and ended up extending our date for drinks into dinner, more drinks, abandoning the cars to get drunk, snogging in a corner and getting a taxi home instead!

We've been inseparable ever since, two years ago and we still refer to it as 'officially the best first date anyone ever had' - unless you can top it next Friday Try not to put great expectations onto the date or the man and just enjoy it.

[ProfessorPickles]

That date sounds amazing Penelope!! I would be chuffed if the date turns out half as good as that
It does sound like a dream date!

It's nice to hear a positive story, I suppose even if I don't like him or he doesn't like me it's a new experience and I'll (hopefully) be better prepared for future dates where I meet someone right for me!

I just hope it's fun and not quiet and awkward!!

[DollStar]

Good luck Pickles, and let us have a toilet update

[lucieloos]

I know how nerve wracking it is pickles but that is completely normal. Just think it's only a couple of hours out of your life and what's the worst that can happen. If you don't see each other again then you weren't meant to be anyway. You have everything to gain though and if you don't go you will never know.

I remember doing online dating, arranged to meet up with someone I had been chatting to for a while. Even when the day came I was debating whether to text him and say something had come up and I couldn't make it as I was so nervous but I told myself if i did that then I would have to stop texting and emailing him as well as there would be no point and I didn't want to do that so I went.

Fast forward nearly 5 years later and we are married and trying for our first baby My life would have turned out so differently if I hadn't plucked up the courage to go x

[ProfessorPickles]

Oh yes doll I will make sure to keep you informed I'll feel sneaky haha!!

Bet you're definitely glad you went on that date then lucie that's lovely!
Best of luck TTC
A really nice positive story!

[DollStar]

What happened Pickles????

[ProfessorPickles]

The date was supposed to be next Friday but we are going out wednesday now instead!

I've just realised I have nothing to wear and I'm looking a bit chubby too, rubbish!
Need to go shopping tomorrow to try get an outfit think I may need to enrol the help of style and beauty MNers haha

[lucieloos]

Good luck pickles let us know how it goes!

[DollyRocker1]

Pickles, you are not alone on being nervous about online dating. I've got my first Eharmony date on Thursday and I feel the same. I'm meeting him on the Southbank so don't know if I'm best dressing up and risk my skirt flying up or wearing work trousers. May wait and see what the weather's like first.

[ProfessorPickles]

Thank you lucie!

Best of luck dolly!! I can definitely sympathise about the skirt dilemma I wear dresses almost every day so I've flashed people many times
I'm going to go shopping tomorrow and run around panicking looking for a nice dress that's slimming

[ProfessorPickles]

Panic is setting in a little
Still don't have an outfit sorted, going to try sort something tomorrow!

I'm terrified it'll be awkward silences and that we will have nothing to talk about

[lucieloos]

Do you have your outfit all sorted now pickles? Not long to go now..exciting!!

[Dirtybadger]

Good luck Pickles! Ive managed to rack up a decent number of first dates through OLD now and the worst that's happened is that it's been a tad awkward. And that's one out of how many (it was pretty awkward but not painful). Even the ones where we didn't want to see one another after were enjoyable/decent/better than being home alone for a few hours!
The rest were very enjoyable! Ahem.

I sort of go with the mind set that I probably won't be into them/it's not important/I'm just keeping myself busy. That way I don't get too nervous. Try and square the pressure on them (not actually, but in your mind). You deserve someone to be trying just as hard to impress you!
Anyway it helps with nerves. Essentially the same approach I take to tests so that I don't end up a wreck. You'll get good at it after a few, too.

Enjoy enjoy enjoy!

[ProfessorPickles]

Lucie - sort of!!
I've got two to pick from there's one that's more fashionable, it's black with a nice white collar, it's tighter and looks fairly slimming!
Or I've got a more girly hepburn style dress that is blue with subtle flowers on that I'm more comfortable in
Think I'm going to go for the girly one the if we end up seeing eachother again I've got the other one

Badger - I've been trying my best to have your attitude of "they've got to impress me" and expecting nothing to happen but then I remember how good looking he is and how lovely he seems and panic all over again
I will keep working on it though!!

[lucieloos]

Your outfits sound great pickles, you will be fine, have a great time

[DollyRocker1]

Good luck Pickles. Sure you'll have a lovely evening and you'll look stunning.

[TonyThePony]

How did the date go, Pickles?

[lucieloos]

Would love to know how you got on too pickles?

[SnotandBothered]

Oh I had come here hoping for a happy update too.... OP?

[handfulofcobwebs]

Her date is tomorrow, I'm sure it will go really well

[lucieloos]

The date changed cobwebs from Friday to Wednesday!

[Purplecircle]

I met DH via match affinity. I'd had a few crap dates so I went with a low expectation! Treat a date as a night out or lunch out. If you go in looking for marriage you'll come across as desperate.
Be yourself, do what you need to do to increase your confidence.
If he doesn't like what he sees, then it's his loss. Draw a line and move on. You might not like what you see.

I could write a book on bad dating experiences. Plane spotters anyone? Mushroom sized penis anyone?
perhaps I should have n/c oops