Yet another friend has crapped on me.

[hiddenhome]

This is the reason why I don't bother with people

small thread here

I feel like an idiot.

All this played out in front of my other colleagues as well.

[nilbyname]

You are not an idiot! pEOPLE can be horrible.

Why not join a few clubs or groups to find some more gentle and likeminded people that won't be so horrible and shouty.

I would give this woman a wide berth, she is treating you badly and your are letting her. Take the high road, be civil but frosty.

Chin up, not everyone is a wanker!

[hiddenhome]

Thank you

I was civil yesterday because I still need to talk to her for work purposes.

Why would anybody be like this?

I was prepared to give her the benefit of the doubt because I thought perhaps there were mental issues going on for her, but last night proved that theory wrong. She was happy and chatty last night. I sat in the office and ate biscuits.

I feel very sorry for myself.

[pluCaChange]

I've just read your other thread. She sounds horrible and you should definitely drop her.

Another reason to drop her is the damage she can inflict on you professionally, if your managers think of you as associated with her, intervening on her behalf when she does something unacceptable.

If the friendship ends, you will only see her at work, where hopefully your managers can protect you from harassment. And if she keeps going at work in the way you described, she'll be out of the job entirely, and you'll be free of her.

Cause for optimism!

[hiddenhome]

Yes, the manager is totally sick of her. We had an inspector in one day and she witnessed her behaviour and looked pretty shocked.

I'm off on annual leave soon, so will get a rest from it.

I was dumped on by somebody who turned out to be a total charlatan a few months ago, so this has brought similar feelings out.

I don't seem able to find anybody decent. This has happened a lot before.

Apart from dh and the cats, I'm on my own.

[CatThiefKeith]

You're not on your own, you've got us!

Seriously though, she sounds like a knob, please tell me you've stopped the lifts?

[LoisPumpkinPieLane]

I think that some people will push and push to see how far they can go with you. And if they get away with it, they push some more. For some reason she feels entitled to be abusive to you in public but still enjoy the benefits of "friendship" with you. Her justification would, no doubt, be "this is who I am, take it or leave it". And you can leave it. Stop with the lifts. If she asks why just say you don't like being abused by so-called friends. She's not going to like that but it seems she's behaving like a cunt anyway, so no loss.

[hiddenhome]

Yes, I've stopped the lifts.

[pluCaChange]

If you have a "centre" of DH and cats, that actually sounds fine. You aren't obliged to have "friends", and certainly not "work friends"!

However, if you meet someone through your DH, who has been "vetted" by long friendship with him, you might want to consider trust.

And, as CatThiefKeith mentions, there's MN!

[Stealthpolarbear]

How was she when you stopped the lifts?

[hiddenhome]

She came into the office on the night we fell out and asked me about a lift, or should one of our colleagues just take her.

I was and said "whatever" and got on with doing the handover.

I didn't pick her up yesterday afternoon and she joined me in the office for the handover. She said "hello" just like nothing had happened. I was and cool.

[pluCaChange]

Phew!

[FunkyBoldRibena]

Hidden - just be cool and distant and get on with what you have to get on with. Be blase. Don't waste any time worrying about her.

[Clutterbugsmum]

I didn't pick her up yesterday afternoon and she joined me in the office for the handover. She said [hello] just like nothing had happened. I was hmm and cool. That's because she has got over her hissy fit and expects you and and everyone else do the same.

Don't be taken in by her behaviour as she will just as quick go back to last weeks behaviour.

[sharon56bus]

There are only two sorts of people in the world ..............Wankers and Liars ........Just decide who is who ..........

[ROUNDandROUNDINCIRCILESMORETHA]

You are not on your own. Last wk a lady invited me round i said well i am free today. She said oh so n so is coming if she cancels i will text you. She walks on despite walking the same way to school, she ignores me when with other people. I don't know what it is with people these days you either want to be friends or don't but don't keep using me.

[Mmmfishandchips]

I don't think making friends out of work colleagues is a good idea, yes get on with them, share jokes, be pleasant, try and enjoy their company. But you don't have to be friends with them. Enjoy the life you have at home and take a break from work colleagues.

[EverythingCounts]

Agree with Clutterbug - she'll do this again if you seem like you're letting your guard down. Keep with the cool and polite but no more approach. You're better off without 'friends' like this and it makes room in your life for new people. Even if it doesn't look like any are on the horizon, you never know.