Finding someone to marry

[bmw2508]

Hi,

I'm 33 y.o. with no children and in the process of finalising my divorce.
As soon as I'm finally divorced I want to start dating. I'm planning to actively do online dating and getting out on dates a lot to meet as many people as I can in person.
The thing is that what I really want is to find a man who is at the point of his life when he wants to settle down cause I want to have children and family as soon as possible really. I'm not interested in cohabitation or getting pregnant without the marriage.
I do realise the importance of feeling "chemistry" to someone but I also know that I can feel such chemistry to a man who doesn't want to get married yet.
I feel that I'm not prepared to risk dating someone for 2-3 years and then him finding all the reasons for avoiding the marriage.
I guess I'm looking for some opinions on what is the good way to go about when dating without looking too desperate or pushy about the fact that I'm looking for someone to marry and have a family within a year or two.

[redviolin]

If this was my absolute priority I would go on Eharmony or Christian dating (or whatever religion you are,) where the emphasis is very much on serious relationships, compatibility and joint values.

[MrsWones]

I was in the same position as you a few years ago. I used plenty of fish (not the best), match.com and ok cupid. On your profile you can set what you are looking for e.g marriage kids etc. And make it clear in your profile information. A better quality site is a good idea too.

[bmw2508]

Thank you for the responds ladies. Just trying to stay positive;))

[RainbowMamaDarling]

What about My Single Friend.com? Generally not a one night hook up site and you get nice bio's from the prospective dates mates! I agree with others, be very honest about your position to avoid time wasters! GL.

[Stubbed]

I met my husband when I was 34 and I was pregnant and engaged 5 months later. We lost the baby but 4 years later we're married with two lovely children and a great new house.

He was 41 when we met, just at the stage where he had finally decided he wanted children so the timing worked well.

Just posting so that you know it can happen!

[Only1scoop]

I would go with a higher end dating site or ultimately the Christian one mentioned with marriage being important to you.

Good luck

[getthefeckouttahere]

Definitely make it clear in your profile that you are looking for marriage and children. When i was dating it was refreshing to see profiles that made this clear, (it can be done in a way that doesn't come across as wannabe bridezilla!) If you pull it off you will avoid an awful lot of the players that are out there, BUT, you will be limiting your potential partners significantly. All of the sites have plus and minuses, for me POF and match were fine. (pot turning up the goods with a smashing girlfriend. Good luck.

[outofcontrol2014]

I would be just a bit careful. I absolutely understand your priorities, and I think it's great that you are honest with yourself. I absolutely agree with other posters that you should be upfront about this, and that those online dating sites might be helpful. I absolutely understand that children are a priority for you right now.

BUT - please give yourself time to be really, really sure that a guy is right for you. Having kids together is a huuuuuuge commitment, and you will be tied forever and ever to this guy. You won't have a choice to walk away - being coparents means that you have to make some kind of functional relationship happen.

The last thing I would want would be to see you posting here again in 5 years saying 'I've rushed in, made a terrible mistake, DH is awful/boring/not the right guy and I can't put up with it any more'.

At your age, you are far too young to be Charlotte Lucas, settling for what you can get. You should still be focused on being Elizabeth Bennett!

[Dowser]

Well I went on a dating site just to meet anime guy To go to theatre / have a meal with.

What I got was hot sex and marriage!

You just never know who or what you are going to hook up with.

Six years later and we are still going at it like rabbits!

[bmw2508]

Thanks everyone!

Dowser - I will keep your approach in mind!

[Yackityyakyak]

Also, tell all of your friends to keep an eye out for eligible men. Lots of people generally won't because they don't want to be offend you by arranging a blind date or 'accidental' meet up. But if you let them know you're definitely interested most would. There are lots of friends of friends who are single. Dinner parties where you can meet them, or other social outings - perfect!