How do you feel positive about the world after leaving abusive relationships?

[IsThereSunshineAfterTheRain]

Although I've got out of an abusive relationship (this is the fourth and I only realised with this one that is was actually abusive rather than a relationship that went wrong)

we've been split up for 9 months now and the more I have thought about it and also other relationships I've had - family and friends the more sad I feel. To accept who they are, and who so many people are (looking through the threads on here) it just doesn't seem like a very nice world! I felt more positive when I convinced myself that people only hurt me accidentally or it was my fault or I was over reacting. Is this normal? Will I ever feel more positive again? All I seem to see around me are messed up people who treat people badly...where are all the healthy people...or will I never be in that group?

[something2say]

You will feel positive again. Nine months is nothing. Far too soon to expect to be over it. Let time pass. Yes there is darkness, but there is also beauty. When you know to handle and avoid darkness, you can train yourself to see beauty more and to look at it and avoid the rest xxx

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

I'm sure you will feel more positive again. The world is full of all kinds of people - some nicer than others. Takes experience to tell them apart and it takes confidence to ditch the unpleasant ones once you've spotted them.

If all you're seeing at the moment are messed up people and those who treat others badly it's probably because you're sensitised to it. That's a good thing. That's your brain processing the information, learning from the experience, putting you on your guard and keeping you safe.

So make the most of your new independence to work on your self-confidence. You weren't overreacting and it wasn't your fault. The higher you set the bar, the more you value yourself, the less likely you are to allow another abusive person into your life.... and the quicker you'll get rid of them if you do.