It's not what I expected.

[PotsAndCambert]

A few years ago, things were very strained with DH. I was deeply unhappy and considering divorce.
We both worked on our relationship, made a lot if effort and have have managed to pull out from. Now things are good. We have reached a balance where we don't have major outbursts. I found some happiness, from my work, the dcs, building my own social life and generally creating a network around me.

But then DH went away for a week. I thought I would miss the hard work he us doing in the house (he really has taken over a lot of the HW due to me working long days). I thought I would somehow be lonely in the evening, miss having an adult in the house.
But I haven't :(. It actually felt easy and flowing wo a hitch. There was no relief he wasn't there but I haven't felt something was missing as such either.

It feels like, when things were bad, my heart has been ripped apart, healed back but wo any love left for DH. I go care about him, I love him in the sense that I wish him to be happy and would never do anything hurtful intentionally.
I thought that, having sorted do many things, both of us making so much efforts, then we would go back to our relationship. Different but maybe better, a bit like couples who survive an affair say it's different but just as good. But it isn't.
Not sure what to do with that. Our life doesn't involve anger and resentment. I am happy and DH has never said he wasn't happy with his life. We have a good life. But surely you are suppose to miss your partner in some ways when they are away??

[ThinkIveBeenHacked]

I adore my DH. I couldnt imagine feeling this way about anyone else.

I fucking love it when he goes away

I get my favourite films on, have treaty food, starfish in the bed, have the girls round, and enjoy the fact that me and dd can just potch on and when I clean something it stays clean. He did a three week trip to NZ when DD had just turned one and honestly, I think I had about three nights of "could really really do with him being home tonight"

Our relationship is utterly brilliant. I dont think twice about it when he is away. maybe I should now!

[WipsGlitter]

Possibly. But on the rare occasions he has gone away I've enjoyed the novelty of being on my own. I've been glad to see him back but I didn't pine for him. But then again, I love my own company!

[PotsAndCambert]

It's not that I did what I wanted either. I just did what we normally do. And that's the thing.
Before I would have used the opportunity to watch a film I like or do something special.
This time, I tidied up, read a bit and went to bed. Just as we normally do.
It highlighted the fact that we don't communicate Some small talk, a lot around the dcs, their day etc but nothing else. No there was little to miss if that makes sense?

[FeckTheMagicDragon]

I think there a difference when the go away for a week to when they are premanently gone. You know he's coming back, and enjoy the time to yourself. That's normal, even heathy.

It's when they are there and you are lonely. Now that's a problem.

If you're happy, you're happy.

[BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted]

I think you might be looking for a problem which isn't there.