mum in a million drunk calling my DP

[agnesnott]

Just want some support.

With DP 7 years. Lots up and downs he has cheated prob more than once.

Was at his flat Saturday he fell asleep on sofa I went to bed. Woke up when he said Honey where are you? Then listened to him and drunk woman on phone. She misses him and wants to come over!

Massive row. I slept on sofa left in morning. Turns out she his friends wife and lives near me. He says they haven't had sex but that irrelevant. He lied and should have put phone down nit smooched with her.

Looked up her very smug, Photoshop FB page. She a mum in a million, wife so happy.

Texted her she only concerned husband doesn't find out and we don't break up because of her. He just such a good listener. Explained I heard her begging to come over. Silence since.

The worst thing is he hadn't told her or his friends he was in relationship. I feel like he so ashamed of me or just wanted to keep options open.

Just feel so used and stupid.

[tribpot]

Well, you're certainly being used. Why don't you leave him?

[pictish]

Why do you stick around?

[JoyceDivision]

Dump him.

Tell her dh what she was doing.

Why are you with him? You're not married, just boot him out, why areyou wasting your life with him/ There are lots of people out there you could be with some one who respects you and treats you so much better

[Fenton]

Don't get caught up in what she's all about - completely irrelevant, - the issue is between you and your partner, who sounds like he's less than committed to you.

[ThePinkOcelot]

What, you've been together 7 years and his friends don't know?! What's that about?!

[BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted]

The whole thing is mad. Especially the part about him having cheated, probs more than once. Can you tell us again why you are bothering with him?

[magoria]

Why would she miss him and want to come over

Are you staying with him?

If so I suggest you have an STI test and if you are going to sleep with him again insist on condoms just in case...

You deserve better.

[agnesnott]

I have left him. And I thought we had worked through his previous cheating. I realize now he just got better at hiding it.

I know. It totally unacceptable his friends don't all know. I know his family and have met his son and some of his friends. I guess he just wanted to keep options open.

We don't live together. But he is dumped.

I did ask her and him how her husband would feel. I'm just not sure I should tell him and implode his life too.

[AnyFucker]

Have you "MUG" tattooed on your forehead ?

[agnesnott]

I just feel so angry and sad.

[AnyFucker]

Oh, Thank God you have dumped him. Now make sure he stays dumped.

[agnesnott]

I know he cheated once before. If I thought before he had done it again I would have dumped him. Now I know I have. How is that a mug?

[magoria]

Well done for dumping him. You deserve much better.

Please do consider the STI test.

[AnyFucker]

Actually you said you think he had cheated "probably more than once"

[agnesnott]

I suppose I'm angry that my life implodes and hers is fine. I'm angry at him but I realise he is an idiot who will end up on his own and a bit of a joke.

He is cheating on me and his friend. I don't want to be with someone I have no respect for.

[agnesnott]

Oh. I see sorry I meant given I know he has done it once and now this then I have to assume he was in between.

[agnesnott]

I just didn't catch him.

[AnyFucker]

OK, my apologies for calling you a mug.

You would be a mug to take him back again. Part of that would be falling into the trap of colluding with him to blame her. You seem to be partway down that track. Save your anger all for him.

[agnesnott]

I don't blame her for cheating on me. I suppose I think it wrong of her to cheat on her husband with his friend. But it her business.

I know it him. I think I blame myself for being so blind.

I suppose I was a mug. But I just didn't see it.

[Fenton]

Forget about her and his friend, that's another kettle of fish for them to deal with- he's cheated, it doesn't matter if it's the woman next door or Liz Hurley. That'll just eat you up.

Let him stay dumped and focus on yourself.

[agnesnott]

I think I just needed to vent. So thank you for replying. I haven't posted before. I just wanted to do something to stop me calling him and shouting and looking like an idiot.

[AnyFucker]

The best way to judge a man that has cheated is on his past behaviour, IMO

When you say you had "worked through" his previous infidelity, does that simply mean you decided to overlook it and hope for the best ?

[parakeet]

Well done for leaving him! And good luck.

[AnyFucker]

Oh yeah, keep your dignity now. No good will come of contacting him again.

[agnesnott]

No anyfucker I thought I had made things clear. He had to be honest, tell me where he was, we talked, did more activities together made time - etc.