DH has always had a strained relationship with his Dad, who is a very controlling person. His mother enables this and they don't really take any interest in us as people. They just say they come to see the grandchildren.
Last time they visited, they were quite rude to DH and weren't interested in spending any time with us (DH and me). They did take the children out for the day and they had a good time.
The second night they stayed they urged us to go out and we said we would pop round to a neighbour's bbq. One DS was at a sleepover and they left the other DS on his own while they watched the world cup. DS (5) didn't want to watch it but didn't want to be left on his own so we took him with us, not meaning to be long. However, quite a few friends were there and we ended up staying until 10pm. Half of me felt we should go back earlier to keep them company, but the other half (which won) felt that they didn't want to see us anyway and they had chosen to watch the world cup over DS, so what was the point in returning early. (Reading that, I sound quite petulant, but I felt pretty petulant to be honest)
When we got back, MIL was chirpy but FIL immediately left the room without speaking to us. They left the next morning before we got up. I have sent several emails and pictures of the boys (our usual way of communicating unless I ring them, as they won't call us as we don't have a landline) but no reply until it was my birthday. They sent a card with a note saying they were disappointed the boys hadn't visited over the summer and would they want to visit over half term.
The boys don't want to go as they find it boring. They don't do anything special, just go to the supermarket and visit the cemetery. I feel I should encourage them to go to keep up the relationship but am now questioning why I am the only person doing anything to maintain it? DH isn't bothered. I am considering driving up and staying at my SIL so the boys stay just one night then I can drive back the next day (2.5hrs each way). I know the inlaws probably won't be happy with that, the boys won't be happy and I don't particularly want to travel.
So..... how much effort should I make? Am I being selfish or should I be the big person?
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How much effort should I make for my two DS to see their grandparents?
15 replies
MyBoysHaveDogsNames · 22/09/2014 23:17
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