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Is it ok to give up trying with all my family?

3 replies

strawberryrock · 22/09/2014 20:28

I suppose I'm just hoping for a bit of validation that stopping caring is the best way forward. My DB1 hasn't been in contact with any of the family for quite a few years (apart from a few birthday/christmas cards to DP's). I make an effort to keep in contact via email every so often (I don't have his phone number) and he does reply with a few lines but that's all.
My DB2 stays in touch with DP's but has been distant with me for quite a few years. I've tried arranging meetups at our house or day trips but he just says sure and never set a time. Recently found out from our parents that him, his DW and their two daughters are moving half way across the country so am quite unlikely to see them anytime soon.

There's another long lost member of my family who hasn't replied to my letters either (I've sent two).

I don't mind making a bit of effort but I can't see the point in chasing people who don't seem to want contact. The problem is that I know if I stop bothering I will lose contact with them for good and my DC won't have any family around when DH & I are gone. Thinking about it all gets me down so I'm considering giving up once and for all and not bothering with any contact apart from birthday & Christmas cards.

Is it ok to give up trying for good?

OP posts:

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seasavage · 22/09/2014 20:33

Yes. It's OK. You have tried. If your number / address is on cards it leaves an 'in'.

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tipsytrifle · 22/09/2014 20:48

It's very ok to just give up. I gave up. I haven't missed any of them. Well, sort of missed what family should/could be about. But they weren't the people in my life. Discovered that my father died 4yrs ago and not-so new wife never thought to let me know. Why would she? I was just a contender for her H. Oddly enough, just as I was for my M. Ha!

I don't need people in my life who don't care about me. Whatever remains of my vast blood family doesn't need me. I think true heart-friend-family is about who you love and who loves you. Who is there for you when you need them. Who are you there for when they need you.

Life's too short to waste time and love on lost causes.

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strawberryrock · 22/09/2014 21:18

Thanks seasavage, that's very true, if they do want to get in contact at some point they would have all of the details they need in the card.

Tipsytrifle, that's terrible about your father's wife, sorry to hear about your father.
[Life's too short to waste time and love on lost causes]
Very true ^^