Is she up to something?

[Iceskater5]

I just want some advice/opinion on whether I need to be worried or if I am just being paranoid.
My DD has been doing an after school activity for about two years. It falls on a day that I work so DH takes her most weeks.
A new child had joined their group. A few months ago DD mentioned that I worked with their mother, but I could not recall her. DH joined in the conversation and said that this girl's mother had chatted to him and said that she knew me from work, and mentioned how lovely I was etc.
Shortly after my office asked me to change my days so I was able to take DD to the activity at times. I did recognise this woman, but had never really spoken to her. (She works in a completely different department to me). I have seen her at times over the last few years as we have a mutual friend, but she has never spoken to me and has always been quite distance.
The first week I took my DD, she looked straight through me, no smile, no hello just totally blanked me. I thought that this was odd as she was singing my praises to DH a couple of weeks before.
Anyway, over the past few months I have been taking DD. I know some of the other parents, and though I have never had an individual conversation with her, we have spoken in a group. Whenever I am talking to another parent though, she appears to be eavesdropping. She never smiles at me and I really don't think she likes me.
Now two weeks ago DH took DD to this activity. I arrived to meet them after an appointment as we were going out for dinner. They did not see me arrive. This woman was talking to DH and another parent and when she saw me, glared at me, conversation was cut short.
I have since seen this woman at my local shops, walking down my road
(she lives the other end of town), and she continues to ignore me at work apart from the one time I enforced a hello by giving her a beaming smile and a 'good morning' in front of the MD. The latest is today, DH casually tells me that her DD has started in the same dance class as our DD on a day I work and I can't take her.
I am not suspecting my DH of anything. We have been together a long time and I have always trusted him. We did go for a long period of no sexual relations, and think we just got into a pattern and neglected this area of our relationship. Over the last few months, this has improved. I suspect that this woman fancies DH, and I guess that this has made me realise that I do need to put more effort into our relationship, and we have been more intimate.
Do I just ignore her behaviour? I trust my DH but I don't trust her, and it's upsetting that someone can interfere in our relationship, if that's what she is doing, how dare she?! It probably does not seem like much, but It's difficult to put it all down in words, the way she looks at me, body language. I really don't think I am imaging this.

[FelicityGubbins]

Did the revival of your sex life coincide with this woman arriving on the scene? I would be very wary and on my guard tbh, she might just fancy him and therefore be jealous of you, but equally she might be jealous because she and your DH are a lot closer than you think

[FelicityGubbins]

What I meant was, did he perk up sexually as she arrived on the scene? ( I know you said yours did) the fact she is wandering down your street is what's strange, how does she know where you live? and just how "chatty" is your DH with her?

[Iceskater5]

I think we both made the effort to be more intimate. When you realise someone may be interested in your DH, it really makes you sit up and take notice! I have tried to suss out how 'chatty' he with her, and it appears to be her making all the effort. DH appears unaffected by her.
I did mention the dance class to DH tonight, along the lines of 'are they following us'? DH reply was 'I don't know, other DD appears to have joined the class'.

[AcrossthePond55]

Well, that shows you how naive I am!! Her being after your DH didn't occur to me. My first thought was that some mutual acquaintance or coworker must have said something to her behind your back that would make her dislike you.

IME women with a hankering after another woman's man usually play 'nice' with her to throw her off the scent. You know, let's be friends, it'll get my foot in your door then I'll try to steal your husband.

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

I'm amazed how much you are reading into this. Even she does fancy your husband, you say he's a faithful man. No-one can be 'stolen' - they have to go along willingly.

[Iceskater5]

Thank you for your comments. As I mentioned, it's difficult to write down about all the little glances she gives him etc, hair flicking etc, but I do think she likes him.
Cogito, I totally agree with you, and here lies the root of the problem. I did not realise how vulnerable I was feeling until I started this thread. I'm scared I have let things slide between DH and that we may have lost some respect with each other. I have neglected my relationship, lack of intimacy and really not making the effort, though this has caused me to realise that I need to sort things out, and we have been a lot more intimate over the last few months. This has made me realise how much I love him, though I'm worried he may have withdrawn from me, even though he says he loves me.When you read threads on here, it is easy to think of the worse case scenario.
So, I'm going to continue to work on my relationship, and trust my DH has not withdrawn from it!
But how do you deal with someone flirting with your DH? Just ignore it?

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

Deal with the person you can influence i.e. him. You really don't want to put yourself in the position of figuratively scrapping over him with some woman who may or may not be interested in the first place. Whatever you say - whether you make a joke of it or a more serious approach - risks boosting his ego. If you want to strengthen your relationship & get closer to each other, go for that instead and be clear with him about it.

What do you mean 'lost respect for each other' incidentally? That's an odd word to use in the context

[DonkeysDontRideBicycles]

Her behaviour to you in person doesn't tally with what DH told you she said about you. So either she was being disingenuous or he was painting her in a positive light.

It is just about possible, he might have twigged that since her arrival, coincidentally or not, things have improved between you two on an intimate basis. In which case whether he were ever attracted to her or not, he can't lose can he.

I think unless DH has started acting differently or you have any other reason to think something's out of synch, ignore her as much as you can. Some people we just don't warm to, and she never was friendly in the past, (through your mutual friend), so that's not new. Maybe seeing what a nice guy you're married to just set her teeth on edge some more.