I've been with my P for a few months now, it's been very relaxed and easy from the start- very few disagreements and we're both rather good at knowing when the other needs a little space. We had some holiday left over and thought we both deserved a break, so booked a gorgeous apartment in a sleepy little Spanish village. His idea, then I did all the planning.
We flew in yesterday, landing about 9pm, and I could see he was tired and on edge, so did my best to make sure the trip to the apartment ran smoothly (despite a delayed flight and missing taxi driver!)
Once we got to the village, the couple we'd rented the apartment off had booked us in at a lovely little restaurant, very laid back and quiet. However from the minute we got into the taxi at the airport he made it very clear he didn't want to go for dinner, so I suggested we go back to the apartment, he could relax there while I went for dinner alone. He continued making a huge issue of how tired he was, despite me repeatedly saying I was more than happy to go alone, and that I didn't want him coming if he didn't feel up to it.
But, for reasons unknown, he came along anyway and proceeded to make the entire meal utterly unbearable- again, telling me how tired, sick, stressed he was- and the only way I could deal with it was to continue being civil to him, reassuring him it was just a couple of tapas' then we could go.
He then started berating me for the amount I drink, saying that that was the reason he was so stressed and "couldn't I see how I was damaging my health". Just to clarify, I had a small glass of white wine and a large bottle of water, I've had no previous substance or alcohol problems and this was the first drink I'd had since Tuesday. When I refused to get into an argument with him he got worse, then stormed out of the restaurant in front of the rest of the customers and left me with the bill.
Since then, he's spent the entire time in the spare bedroom, tried to bait me into another argument about my "alcohol intake" and only spoken to me when he wanted me to get him cigarettes from the shop.
I can't stress enough how out of character this is for him, or at least I didn't know he had this side of him, I just don't know how to react. I'm perfectly happy leaving him to his own devices and enjoying the time I have here alone, but it's difficult when I don't actually know what's wrong. As it stands, I'm going to continue doing all the things I'd planned to, visit all the places I want to, and yes if I want a glass of damn wine I'm going to bloody have one.
I'd prefer for us just to forget about it and enjoy the time we have here, but I'm at a bit of a loss, I was so so excited for this trip. I've seen the good advice you lot dole out, so please- give me some perspective.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
I just don't know what to do.
Anniemannie · 21/09/2014 20:35
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.