I am right to be upset

[sammyjayneex]

im really upset.

My husband is lying to me again

I'll start with the beginning

He has this work colleague (well ex work colleague she doesn't work same place as him anymore) but he used to talk to her and stuff and text her. I found messages from her once (on msn messenger when it was around still a few years ago) and the messages appeared flirty. That same day he was chatting to her he told me he was busy and couldn't talk over msn with me and had to go (he was at my mums borrowing my sisters laptop at the time) but when I looked at the history times he had been chatting to her at the same time he told me he had to go and couldn't talk to me. I felt a bit annoyed at this. She was saying things like "ye and I'm a Virgin' in answer to something he said. Which I found a bit inappropriate. So I'm really insecure now about him talking to her. So we have both been on a works night out together and she was there and was saying things like 'oh I wasn't going to wear any knickers but my friend made me' and things to my husband like 'the bouncer has just told me I have no tits' and stuff so I made him aware I'm not happy with him being around her when she is like this. Also she was telling me (in a flirtatious manner) 'oh he's really mean to me away work he makes me make him cups of teas and brings him biscuits and stuff.'

Now he's been invited on another night out and apparently invited me but didn't seem keen for me to go with him bit I just didn't bother as I thought he may be better nearer time anyway I saw another message from this girl on his phone saying 'ok x' but he had deleted the rest of the conversation and I asked him why he deleted them and he said 'coz i know how you would react' but surely if they were innocent he wouldn't have deleted them

Now he says he's not going on this out but I know he's only saying this because he knows I will now cancel with my mum to babysit and he'll fob me off saying he's not going just so I don't ask him if I can go and then on the day of the party he will announce that he's going and it would be too late for me to go as can't get a babysitter that short notice. And also this girl is going

How would you feel?

[Vivacia]

I can't imagine what I would do because my DP loves and respects me and wouldn't choose to behave like this.

[Vivacia]

Oops sorry you asked how would we feel. I'd be fucking livid, tell him to have all the time he wanted to message other women and bye-bye.

[ROUNDandROUNDINCIRCILESMORETHA]

I would tell him to pack his clothes and book a hotel.doesn't sound good hun.

[inlectorecumbit]

My husband is lying to me again
That sentence alone says enough.

Time to tell him to go

[Ladyface]

Don't cancel your mum babysitting. That way you can still go if he changes his mind.

[sammyjayneex]

I am not going to cancel my mum babysitting but the problem is she usually babysits out our house and my husband picks her but in the car as she lives a bit away from us so even if I didn't cancel there's no point because she won't get here and he can refuse to pick her up (I don't drive)

[SunshineAndShadows]

I'd be asking him why he's so disrespectful to his chosen life partner. and poss making a suggestion for him to make it right "That's ok I'll keep the baby sitter then we can go out together on a date night as you've promised you're not going on the works thing" if he lets you down LTB

[Dirtybadger]

Get her there earlier. If you go out- she babysits. She gets a lift home later. If you dont go out because he cant go alone (to flirt with the woman) them brilliant you get a takeaway with your mum and a chat. I have assumed you get on with mum. The takeaway is to make up for messing her about.

He's a dick, though. Although she sounds very very odd. Most people would tone it down naturally in front of a partner. Especially if something was going on! Perhaps she's way too much with everyone. Not really any defence for your dh, though.

[MrsWhiskersonTheFirst]

Could you suggest that seeing as you already have your mum booked for babysitting, you may as well have a night out?

[sammyjayneex]

turns out that he still wants to take me on this night out even though she will be there. But told me not to act odd just because i don't like her

anyway she's apparently going back to work where he works now for 2 weeks so they will be around together a lot which I'm dreading

also she text him yesterday saying 'I saw your wife today but she blanked me' (I didn't see her) I would never purposely ignore them even if I don't like them because I have class if I would have seen her I would have still said a civil hi .
It just seems to me she's purposely trying to cause a wedge between me and my husband and it's not fair
How would you handle this?

[BolshierAyraStark]

Why are you letting him treat you this way? He's taking the piss in a major way & you are allowing him to do it instead of calling him on his shit behaviour!

What would I do? Tell him to fuck right off & don't come back.

[ineveram]

They shouldn't be texting each other for a start. The texts aren't work related so there is absolutely NO need for her to have his phone number and vice versa.

When you are calm and not so angry with him, nicely request that he deletes her number. If he knows that texting her makes you uncomfortable, then out of respect for your feelings, he should have no problem complying with your request.

The fact she constantly uses sexual language around your husband - using words such as tits, knickers and virgin, says to me that this woman has an agenda (even if your husband can't see it).

If he's mature enough and only if he's not the 'fly off the handle type', why don't you show him this topic and the replies?
It might make him see that it's not just you being 'awkward' and that you have very valid reasons for not feeling happy about his friendship with this woman.

[Only1scoop]

Childish and vile behaviour on his part....don't entertain the liar. He treats you with no respect.

[Branleuse]

It doesnt sound like your relationship with your husband is particularly great

[GoatsDoRoam]

How would you handle this?

Decide that I deserve to be treated with respect, observe that my husband is incapable of treating me with respect, and thus choose to live a happy life without said husband.

How do you want to handle it?

[kaykayblue]

Well, your husband sounds like a complete an utter shit hole, and she sounds like a trollop.

So I would probably kick him out and tell them that they would make a wonderful couple.